Bending The Bridge
by Ardwolf
Summary: Testing a new wormhole generator Henry gets more than he bargained for when a teenage girl appears through the portal and immediately tries to blast him with lightning. The good news: she missed him. The bad news: she hit the generator instead…
1. 1 A Princess Surrenders With Honor

Testing a new wormhole generator Henry gets more than he bargained for when a teenage girl appears through the portal and immediately tries to blast him with lightning. The good news: she missed him. The bad news: she hit the _generator_ instead…

This is a _Eureka / Avatar: The Last Airbender _crossover. It takes place sometime after Sheriff Carter and friends return from 1947 but before the launch of _Astraeus_ in the Eureka universeand at the very end of the episode _The Chase _in the _Avatar_ universe.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own and did not create _Eureka_ or _Avatar: The Last Airbender_. They belong to SyFy and Nickelodeon respectively.

I didn't write this story for profit, it is merely meant to entertain any reader who stumbles upon it. I hope my poor attempt has some merit in the eyes of those who read it, and if not, well at least I tried. J

Thanks to GoldenGriffiness for beta-reading this story, her suggestions certainly improved the story's quality. Any remaining mistakes are, of course, entirely my own fault…

Chapter 1 – A Princess Surrenders With Honor

Azula stood at bay with her back to the ruins of a brick wall. She eyed her six opponents.

"Well, look at this. Enemies and traitors, all working together." She sneered. She raised both hands above her head.

"I'm done. I know when I'm beaten. You got me. A princess surrenders with honor."

_As though I'd ever surrender to the likes of you! _She raged inwardly.

Her uncle was the only real threat—she could deal with the others provided he was out of the way. She just needed one small opening to make her escape.

Fate smiled on her when Iroh glanced over at the young earthbending girl and (against every rule of battle and common sense) stared at her, taking his eyes off Azula for just an instant.

_Your last mistake, old fool!_ She thought as she breathed out and snapped her arm downward, pointing two fingers at him. Instantly brilliant blue flame exploded from her hand and knocked him off his feet.

Zuko screamed in wordless rage as his uncle went down. Knowing what was coming Azula desperately raised a fire shield. She hoped it would be enough to blunt the fury of the massed benders facing her. Time slowed to a crawl as their combined attack swept nearer. She shifted her weight, ready to accept the blow and roll with it.

Without warning something picked her up and threw her backward, away from the oncoming attack. There was a loud _thwump, _a rush of wind and the ground dropped away. Her concentration—and shield—vanished.

Acting purely on instinct she shifted into a defensive posture, sparks already crawling across her hands. That's when her mind finally caught up to her body and she discovered she wasn't facing the Avatar and his friends anymore.

Frantically she spun, seeking her enemies. But they had vanished, along with the ruins. In their place was a large room, absolutely crammed with workbenches and tables. Gleaming boxes and large cylindrical shapes covered every flat surface. Each of the strange devices were dotted with green, amber, or blue lights. But it was the noise—an unearthly hum—that unnerved her the most.

That's when she saw the man and woman gaping at her. Their skin was unnaturally dark brown, almost black and their clothes were like nothing she'd ever seen. They immediately started shouting at her—loud nonsensical babble that made no sense.

That was the last straw. The strange machines, the weird sounds, the shouting, it all combined into a horrible jumbled mess that shredded her patience.

So she did what she always did to people who annoyed her in battle. She smiled viciously and extended her arm toward the man.

Showing more sense than her opponents normally did he dove out of the way. The lightning blasted through the space he'd just occupied and struck the large device behind him.

Azula expected the weird machine to explode but it sucked up her lightning like a fat man slurping noodles. She frowned, wondering why it hadn't exploded.

She got her answer as a loud repetitive shrieking began. The small number of green lights on the device suddenly became a _large _number of red ones. The black-skinned woman screamed more gibberish and scrambled through the door. The man leaped up and ran through the door yelling at Azula and frantically motioning her to follow.

In her experience the only reason people ran away screaming in terror was because she was angry with them. The fact he'd actually wanted her to follow him meant he was afraid of something _else_…

Azula hadn't understood his shouting but the device reminded her uncomfortably of a red-lining boiler and she wasn't stupid. Her spinning kick sent a blast of azure fire slamming into a nearby window.

The window obediently disintegrated and she wasted no time diving through it. Hitting the ground in a forward somersault she flipped to her feet and concentrated on putting as much distance between herself and the building as humanly possible. As she ran she took in her surroundings. They looked nothing like they had five minutes ago.

There was another _thwump_, this one loud enough to make her chest vibrate. A swath of blue light raced overhead and struck the building behind her. It had come from the hilltop she was now sprinting toward. Cursing she veered left and coaxed more speed from her flailing legs. A second, even louder _thwump _shook her and a huge burst of blue light arced from the building into the distance. It came to ground miles beyond the trees to her right.

Just as she was nearing the tree line there came the sound she'd been dreading, the _ka-whompf_ of a boiler explosion. She was still close enough to feel the heat from the fireball on her back. Debris rained down around her as she fled into the safety of the trees.

Her only solace was the sound of the man screaming in anguish as he watched his house blown to bits. The princess vanished into the trees, already wondering how she might turn this unlikely event to her advantage.

_Of course first I have to find Mai and Ty Lee, _she thought as she continued running.


	2. 2 Astraeus Isn't The Only Way To Titan

Chapter 2 – Astraeus Isn't The Only Way To Titan

"Henry are you sure about this?" Grace asked her husband as she stood next to the power inverter. He grunted as he made an adjustment deep inside the guts of the wormhole generator.

"It's not like we need a portal, you know." She continued. "We have a perfectly good space ship. Well, we will once it's finished. Why do we need a portal too?"

"It's called belt and suspenders, Grace." He grinned at his wife as he closed the generator's casing. "I don't want my beautiful adoring wife a billion miles away with no way home except a barely tested and temperamental piece of technology."

"Oh really? So you're saying the _bridge device_ isn't temperamental?" Grace mocked him.

"This isn't the bridge device." Henry protested. "I mean, yeah, it's based on it, but this is a wormhole generator. It doesn't have the temporal components of the bridge device. That should keep the spatial frames aligned and prevent an Einstein-Rosen bridge from forming."

"Should?" Grace raised an eyebrow.

"Besides, the power requirements of the portal aren't anything like as demanding as the bridge device, even over interplanetary distances. There's not enough power to cause temporal distortion." He assured her.

"Says the man who accidentally sent himself and his friends back to 1947." Grace said drily.

"Very funny, ha, ha. Switch on the auxiliary backup power, would you? We don't need the portal collapsing. Nothing like a really big bang to ruin our chances at a Nobel prize."

"Exactly how _big_ a bang, Henry?" She asked, good-naturedly throwing the switches.

"Oh, not too big. Probably flatten the garage though." Henry said casually.

"What, seriously?" Grace asked as he set up the coordinates for the exit portal.

"Well, yeah, if I was aiming for Shanghai." He grinned at her. "I'm not doing anything quite so ambitious for our first test."

"Where's the portal going then?" Grace asked, watching him make final adjustments.

"The top of the hill. If the field does collapse the backlash shouldn't be more than a stiff wind." He engaged the generator.

With a loud _snap _the portal formed in the middle of the garage, the other side hidden by swirling condensation.

"See, it works! That's why they call me Beacon Deacon! I _deliver_ baby, first time _every_ time." Henry pumped his arm in victory.

"Don't dislocate your shoulder patting yourself on the—" Grace began when the portal made an unpleasant sound and a corona of cerulean fire spat from the wormhole, followed by an oddly dressed girl. She landed and spun to face them, going into some kind of kung fu pose complete with waving arms. To the shock of the two scientists electricity started crawling over her hands.

"Hey!" Henry called to the girl, who was glaring at them. "Whatever you're doing, stop it! There's a lot of sensitive equipment in here! You could blow us all to kingdom come!"

"Henry, she looks—unfriendly. How's she generating that static discharge anyway?" Grace frowned, then shouted "_Stop it_, you're going to kill us all if that light show hits anything important!"

The girl smiled viciously and started to point her lightning clad fingers at Henry.

"Oh _crap!" _He dove out of the way just as the electricity spat from the girl's fingers through the place he'd been standing.

In front of the wormhole generator.

The generator absorbed the bolt and immediately started to overload. Alarms went off and the monitor lights turned from friendly green to ruby-hued doom.

"Oh my God! Henry, _run_, it's going to overload!" Grace screamed. She bolted for the door.

Henry took one look at the glaring red indicators and scrambled after his wife.

"Come on you crazy woman! It's going to blow!" Henry frantically motioned for the girl to follow him as he ran out the door.

By this time Grace was taking cover behind the tow truck and Henry wasted no time joining her. He anxiously waited for the crazy girl to come through the door but she chose a different exit. There was a _bang_ and she sprinted away from the side of the garage. Henry was just breathing a sigh of relief when there was a _thwump _indicating the portal had collapsed. Cherenkov radiation traced a line from hilltop to the garage in an unnatural arc. A second, louder _thwump_ and an even bigger flare created an arc that grounded miles away. Given Eureka's track record with experimental accidents he had a sinking feeling Global Dynamics was sitting at ground zero…

_That's_ when the garage decided to explode, making both of them duck behind the truck.

Something hurled by the explosion smashed through the windshield and buried itself deep in the upholstery of the front seat—which immediately burst into flames.

"Gah! I just washed this thing! _Now_ lookat it!" Henry yelled furiously.

"Baby, I think you're going to need a new truck." Grace said dryly. "Not to mention a new garage. You _are_ insured, right?"

Henry took one look at the fire blazing in his beloved workshop and screamed a string of curses that made his wife blink. She had no idea he knew so many inventive ways to call down death and destruction on the crazy woman disappearing into the trees. After a couple of minutes Henry settled down and gave a heavy sigh. He fished out his phone and dialed. When the other person answered he started speaking.

"Jack? It's Henry. We have a small problem…"


	3. 3 The Universe Just Loves Proving Me Wro

Chapter 3 – The Universe Just Loves Proving Me Wrong, Doesn't It?

He'd been useless in the fight. _Again_.

Sokka paused with arm upraised and jaw dropped. He sighed and let his arm fall without throwing the boomerang. There was no point.

The combined bending of earth, air, fire, and water slammed into what he could only assume was now the _late_ Princess Azula, creating a black cloud of smoke and debris that lingered for a few seconds. When the smoke cleared Azula was gone.

As in not there.

_They missed?_ He thought, stunned. _How could they miss? She was ten feet from them! Where'd she go?_

Zuko scrambled for his fallen uncle, reminding Sokka the old man had been injured. Everyone else followed instinctively.

"Get away from us!" Zuko shouted from where he knelt by the old man.

Katara moved forward.

"Zuko, I can help—" She began. Enraged, Zuko twisted around and launched a wave of fire at them. Because he was kneeling he misjudged the angle. It passed over their heads without striking them, although everyone but Toph had to duck.

"_Leave!" _ He screamed, totally out of control. Aang and Katara looked at each other helplessly as they straightened up.

Before they could retreat a wave of blue light engulfed them and there was a _thwump_ noise loud enough to make Zuko's teeth ache. He watched dumbfounded as the Avatar and his group were swallowed by a misty ring, which promptly vanished with a little _pop_.

"What the— Uncle, get up we have to go, we have to get out of here! _Uncle!"_

There was an even louder _thwump _and when the quiet returned the street was empty.

ooOoo

"Henry said _what?"_ The stern façade the dark-haired woman normally wore cracked as she started laughing. "She threw _lightning _and it blew up his garage? He wasn't drinking was he?"

"No, but I bet he'd like to start." The voice on the other end of the phone was obviously trying not to laugh. "Not just his garage, either. As a lovely parting gift something blew through the roof and landed on his tow truck. Which promptly caught on _fire_."

"Oh, Carter, that's _hil_—hold on." She stared down at the rotunda where a blue arc of light had just blasted through the roof. Veteran GD employees wasted no time scrambling for cover. There was a bone jarring _thwump_ that literally shook the building and two people were suddenly sprawled on top of the GD logo in the center of the rotunda.

"Jack, we've got visitors. I'm gonna have to call you back. On second thought, why don't you come running?" Without waiting for a reply she hung up and ran for the stairs.

By the time she came through the doors one of the strangers was on his feet in a martial-arts pose that Jo recognized as Shaolin kung fu. He was glaring around while standing over the second person, an old man. The old man had burn marks on his clothing just under his arm and up one side of his chest. She could see angry red skin peeking through the holes burned in the cloth.

_The one on his feet is just a teenager,_ Jo thought in surprise.

He was Asian, possibly Chinese, with a very nasty looking burn scar on the left side of his face. It was old and clearly healed, but from the look of it he'd been lucky not to lose his eye.

She thought the old man was Asian as well, but a long gray beard and sideburns hid most of his face making it hard to tell.

"All right, just calm down, nobody's going to hurt you." Jo said soothingly, holding her hands away from her sides, arms loose and relaxed. The boy looked like he was on the edge of losing control, his eyes were wide and his teeth were bared in a snarl.

Jo caught her breath when she realized what she was seeing. The eyes glaring at her weren't human—they were the tawny golden eyes of a lion.

Considering how the two had arrived it occurred to her she should probably wait for backup.

But Jo wasn't built that way.

"Your friend looks hurt, let me call a doctor to help him, all right? Can you understand me?"

The boy snarled something that sounded like Chinese to Jo's untrained ear.

"Make that a doctor _and _a linguist." She muttered to herself.

_Oh boy, how did Chinese agents penetrate GD security? _She thought._ And why are they dressed like that? It's like they're wearing a neon sign reading 'Hey, I'm crazy! Arrest me!'_

Slowly and carefully she eased her hand in her pocket and pulled out her phone. The boy watched her with hard eyes. Jo kept her movements small and slow because everything in his stance screamed _soldier _to her instincts. It was obvious any sudden move would provoke an attack. And while she didn't doubt she could take him in a fight, his wounded companion made her want to try a more diplomatic approach first. Contrary to rumors, she didn't solve _every_ problem by smashing it in the face…

She dialed the phone by feel, never taking her eyes off the boy.

"Fargo, Jo. Don't say anything, just listen to me. I need Allison in the rotunda _right now_. We have a wounded man; it looks like he has second, possibly third degree burns. Tell her to come into the rotunda _slowly_ because we also have a young man wound way too tight for my comfort. I need a linguist too, somebody who speaks Chinese."

She hung up before Fargo could ask the inevitable questions. She knew Fargo. The quickest way to get what she wanted was to not answer Fargo's questions—his insatiable curiosity would do the rest.

The uneasy standoff continued for another five minutes. Allison finally came into the rotunda with a medical team at her back. Before Jo could shout a warning the doctor started to step toward the old man.

The boy yelled something in Chinese making Allison hesitate. His eyes widened with shock as he stared at her, then he yelled and pointed at the ground in front of her. A gout of flame spewed from his hand, leaving a smoking crater where it struck.

Instantly fire nozzles deployed from the ceiling, targeting both the crater and the boy. There was a buzzing noise as the nozzles spat dozens of small foam 'bullets' in the space of a few seconds. Both the crater and the boy were inundated by the foam—which immediately expanded.

A _lot_.

Shocked into immobility he stood nearly entombed in the sticky white foam. The look on his face would have made Jo burst out laughing if the situation weren't so dangerous.

"_Nobody move!"_ Jo yelled. "Allison, keep back until the linguist shows up and we can talk to this guy. And _you _Barbeque Boy",she said sternly, "keep your flames to yourself, understood? Any more trouble and I will be _very_ unhappy."

She didn't move at all, just glared at the boy. His eyes narrowed but he relaxed just a little. Since nobody was threatening him or the old man he seemed content to keep the status quo for the moment.

"Um, excuse me, Miss Lupo?" A diffident voice spoke behind her. "I'm Dr Kwan. You asked for a linguist?"

Without taking her eyes off the foam covered stranger she spoke.

"Doctor, do you speak Chinese?"

"Yes. As well as twelve other languages." He replied mildly.

"Well, right now I need Chinese. At least I think it's Chinese. Would you talk to him? Ask him if our doctor can look at his friend. Find out who he is and how they got here."

"Very well." Dr Kwan moved past her. He was short, balding, gray haired, and built like a bird.

_Perfect_. She thought to herself. _He looks like a stiff wind would knock him down. No threat at all, right my fiery friend?_

_ Maybe Carter won't have an excuse to nag me about being too violent this time. Assuming Barbeque Boy doesn't try to fry the negotiator that is…_

Dr Kwan stopped a good ten feet from the foam-dripping stranger and bowed. He made a short speech in Chinese and paused.

"Zuko." The teen said shortly. Then he broke into a stream of rapid fire Chinese that Jo bet contained more than one question. Dr Kwan held up one hand politely and turned to face Jo.

"He says his name is Zuko and that the other man is his uncle Iroh. He says Iroh was injured during a fight but he didn't say who they were fighting. He asks why he should trust us. He also asked why he's covered in soap." Dr Kwan paused. "He isn't speaking modern Chinese by the way, Miss Lupo, its Middle Chinese, and an early variant at that. Very unusual."

"Why's that?" Jo asked, eyes narrowing.

"Because this dialect of Chinese hasn't been spoken in over a thousand years."

_Henry! When I get my hands on you you'll wish you'd been in that garage when it exploded! _She fumed to herself. The bridge device again! Honestly, was it too much to ask for Henry to leave the damn thing _alone?_

"Tell him the 'soap' is to keep things from catching on fire. He's covered in it because he made a fire and the building didn't like it. As for why he should trust us…" She paused, thinking. Finally she shrugged.

"We're offering to treat his uncle even afterhe threw fire at our doctor. Besides, what choice does he have?"

Looking somewhat uncomfortable Dr Kwan turned to Zuko and began speaking. Zuko glared at Jo for a moment, but relaxed his stance. He stepped away from his uncle and beckoned Allison forward. Then he spoke to the linguist.

"Miss Lupo, I'm not sure I believe what he just said." Dr Kwan said, shaking his head.

"What?" Jo asked, watching Zuko.

"He gives his parole as the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation. He swears not to attack us so long as we treat his uncle well."

"Crown Prince? Since when has China had a Crown Prince?" Jo asked, perplexed.

"They don't." Dr Kwan said drily.

"What's the Fire Nation?"

"I have no idea. As far as I know China has never had any geopolitical entity called the Fire Nation."

"So, he's lying?" Jo asked automatically.

Her mind was racing. Given the bridge device it was entirely possible Zuko _was _the Crown Prince of a country that hadn't existed for a thousand years.

"I'm not qualified to judge." Dr Kwan replied. "That's your area of expertise, is it not?"

Allison was kneeling by Zuko's uncle checking him over carefully.

"It looks like he was struck with a red hot sledgehammer." She announced. "Second degree burns and probably at least one cracked rib. We need to get him to the infirmary."

Dr Kwan relayed this to Zuko, who glowered but finally nodded. He said something short and biting to the linguist, who swallowed nervously.

"He said he places his uncle in your care. If you harm Iroh, Zuko will personally slam his fist down your throat and 'bend fire' into your stomach and then watch as you die screaming. I'm not sure exactly what he's talking about but he's deadly serious."

"Tell him we don't mistreat injured men." Jo said quietly. "We'll do our best for his uncle. Burns like his may take two or three weeks to heal. Make sure he understands that."

Dr Kwan spoke to Zuko, who nodded and replied.

"He says soldiers in the Fire Nation know about burns."

"I'll bet." Jo said looking at Zuko's burn scar. He noticed her stare and scowled.

ooOoo

They were just starting to retreat from the dangerously out of control fire prince and his wounded uncle when a blue light surrounded them. Before they could do anything there was a deafening _thwump_ and the ground gave way, dropping them a couple of feet.

"Toph, what did you _do?"_ Sokka demanded irritably as he started to stand up.

"Nothing!" She protested. "That wasn't me."

Sokka froze, staring at the green grass inches from his face. Grass that hadn't been there seconds ago.

"Uh, guys we may have a problem." Sokka stood up and looked around. The ruins of the town were nowhere to be seen. They were now on a grassy hilltop. Below the hill and not too far away a building was burning, and next to it something else burned, some kind of machine. There were two people watching the fire. From their posture they seemed unhappy.

A road of what looked like stone ran past the house in either direction.

"Where are we?" Katara asked, looking around in confusion.

"Don't ask me." Aang said as he struggled to his feet. "As long as it isn't near Zuko I'm good."

"I'm thinking the spirit world." Sokka said, staring at the strange creature which had just come up the hill. It sat down and watched them solemnly.

"I don't think so, Sokka." Toph said dismissively. "The ground is solid. On the other hand I don't remember there being so many trees around here."

"Oh yeah? If we aren't in the spirit world where's the town? And what is _that?"_ Sokka asked, pointing at the sitting creature. "And why are those people down there black?"

"What?" Aang asked, peering down at the couple in interest. "Sokka they aren't black. They're dark brown."

"Well? Have you ever seen a dark brown person before? And what's with the frizzy hair?"

"I don't know, Sokka." Aang said in exasperation. "Why don't we go down and ask them? Maybe put out the fire in their house while we're at it?"

"Oh—yeah." Sokka said, blinking. "We should do that. But what about our friend here?" He hooked a thumb at the animal. It was quite large, probably weighing as much as Aang did. It had gray wiry fur with random dark patches. Sokka didn't like the way it was studying them.

"I've never seen a creature like that before." Katara said. "It doesn't act like it wants to eat us. I say we ignore it. We need to go put out that fire! I bet Azula burned down those poor people's house."

"Now that you mention it," Sokka mused, "that's totally something she would do."

The creature was sitting on the path that lead toward the burning house. As they cautiously approached it calmly got up and went a few steps down the path, then turned and looked at them. Then it went another few steps, and turned to look at them again, slowly waving its long thick tail.

"I think it wants us to follow it." Aang said, watching the creature. The creature barked twice like a turtle-seal. It started down the path, leaving the group to follow.

"Tell me that isn't a spirit." Sokka said smugly.

When they reached the burning house they got another surprise.

"Hey, this rock—its one solid piece." Toph announced as they stepped onto a large square yard made of dark rock-like ground.

"So?" Sokka asked, more concerned about the people. They were staring at the group with interest, and the creature trotted up to the man. It sat down, barking and wagging its tail. The man greeted the animal and patted it on the head.

"Aang, there's water flowing from that broken pipe. Help me gather it into a big ball and we'll drown the fire in one shot."

"Ok, Katara." Aang answered, following her to the pipe.

"Sokka, this rock, it's _huge_. Perfectly square edges and it's the same thickness everywhere. Earth benders must have done it."

"That's good, right?" Sokka asked, cheering up. "It means we're still in the Earth Kingdom."

"I guess. But it feels strange. It's too smooth. Normal rock is lumpy. This is _incredibly_ smooth, like it was melted and poured. But it doesn't feel like volcanic rock either. It's weird."

They were distracted as the couple approached them cautiously. Sokka studied them curiously. Aang was right, they weren't black they were dark brown, with brown eyes and black hair, although the woman's was incredibly frizzy, sticking out from her head several inches. The man's was really short, in an odd cut that Sokka had never seen before. He didn't have a topknot either, which Sokka took to mean he wasn't a warrior and thus not a threat.

Their clothes were really weird too.

"Hi, I'm Sokka, and this is Toph." Sokka said with a smile, indicating his companion.

"Hi." Toph said.

The woman spoke a string of gibberish to the man. Sokka tilted his head. The man replied to her with more babble and then turned to Sokka."

"Hi." He said. The word sounded strange but was (barely) recognizable.

"Um, we're trying to put out the fire." Sokka said, gesturing to where Aang and his sister were collecting the water into a large ball. The couple looked where he pointed. Their mouths fell open and their oddly round eyes widened even further.

The woman gripped the man's arm and started speaking gibberish urgently to him without taking her eyes off what Aang and Katara were doing.

"That's Aang and my sister Katara." Sokka said helpfully. The two gasped as Aang and Katara, working together, raised the ball of water high in the air and flattened it into a blanket. When they released it the water fell into the house, causing a huge _whoosh_ of steam as the fire was smothered.

Of course, Sokka admitted ruefully, it was really too late to save the couple's house. All that was left was a burned-out shell. The other thing that had been on fire was no longer burning but there were wisps of smoke rising from it. The smell coming from it was acrid.

What it had been Sokka had no idea, it reminded him a little of a Fire Nation tank, but was much smaller and brightly colored. It clearly wasn't designed for war but Sokka hadn't the faintest idea what it was designed to do. There was a large hook on one end; it might have been built to pull wagons.

"So—", he said awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "What are your names?"

The man looked at him quizzically.

"You know. _Names._ Me Sokka, that's Toph, and you are?" Sokka prompted, wondering if these two were a couple of fish short of a full net.

The man finally got the idea.

"Henry Deacon _babble_ _babble_ Henry." He said, putting his hand on his chest. Pointing to the woman he said "_babble_ _babble_ _babble_ _babble_." Seeing Sokka's utter lack of comprehension the man sighed.

"Henry." He said, tapping his chest. Sokka nodded.

"Grace" He said, pointing to the woman. She smiled and nodded. Sokka nodded back.

"I have no idea what they just said." He said, smiling brightly. "Can't they talk? The man said hi, so I know they can talk."

"I heard him too but that seems to be the only word he knows." Toph replied. "Whatever they're doing they seem to understand each other. Maybe it's like Twinese?"

"What's Twinese?" Sokka asked, glancing at the earth bender.

"Sometimes when a mother has twins they babble to each other. They understand each other but nobody else does."

"Huh. Weird. Maybe you're right." Sokka admitted.

Aang and Katara joined them.

"Aang, can't you do some of that Avatar stuff and talk to these nice people?" Sokka asked hopefully. "We can't understand them. I think it's because they're spirits."

"It doesn't really work that way, Sokka." Aang said apologetically. "Sorry."

"No, that would be too easy." Sokka said in disgust. "So how _do_ we talk to them?"

"I have no idea. But I don't think they're spirits. I think they're just people, like us."

"Oh? What about him?" Sokka asked sarcastically, pointing at their four-legged guide. "You can't tell me that creature isn't a spirit."

"Well—it's hard to say." Aang hedged. "Some spirits talk and some don't, but most of them are really smart. And they _feel_ like spirits. He doesn't."

They were interrupted by an amazing sight. Down the road rolled a machine that reminded Sokka of the burned out one next to them. But this one had flashing lights on top and it moved as fast as a running ostrich-horse. Sokka was enthralled.

"Oh my. That is so amazing." Sokka murmured, eyes widening. He loved machines of all kinds, and had ever since they'd visited the Northern Air Temple.

"Focus, Sokka." Katara said sharply. "Don't let the shiny—whatever-it-is distract you!"

"But it's moving by itself! And it's really, really shiny…" Sokka said dreamily.

"Sokka!" She punched him in the arm.

"Ow! All right, I'm paying attention. You didn't have to hit me. Hey, it's coming this way!" He stared eagerly as the machine rolled up next to a large metal sculpture-thingy near them and stopped. Part of the side swung open and a man stepped out, swinging it closed behind him.

"Man, this place keeps getting weirder and weirder." Sokka said, staring dumbfounded at the man. "This guy's _pink_."

"He's just really pale, Sokka." Aang said. "Some of the monks who didn't get out in the sun much were kind of pale too. Not as pale as him, but almost."

"I'll take your word for it. I still say they're spirits."

"Sokka may be right about this one. He's made of metal." Toph announced. Everyone stared at her, shocked.

"Are you sure, Toph?" Katara asked.

"I can feel him with my earthbending, Katara. He's metal inside. His outside is something soft, but he's definitely metal inside. And his bones are shaped funny too."

"You can see somebody's bones?" Aang asked, fascinated.

"Kind of, if I concentrate. Bones are usually straight, with just a few curved ones, like ribs. But this guy has nothing _but_ curves. There's way too _many_ too. It's almost like he's a statue or something."

The pink newcomer seemed friendly enough, beaming at the dark brown couple and breaking into gibberish. A long conversation ensued which the benders and Sokka couldn't make heads or tails of. The four legged animal seemed to be following the conversation, although it didn't say anything.

The brown man took something out of his pocket and Sokka was shocked to hear the conversation he'd had with Toph and Aang repeated, word for word.

Then the pink man nodded and went into a trance for a couple of minutes. He opened his eyes and turned to Sokka.

"Hello, my name is Andy. What's your name?"

"You can talk? Great! I'm Sokka. This is my sister Katara, that's Toph and this is Aang."

"Pleased to meet you, Sokka. Why are you here?" The man asked with a wide friendly smile.

"We saw the fire and came to put it out." Katara broke in. "How come you can understand us when they can't?"

The man gave this some consideration before answering.

"Your language is very unusual, Katara. No one has spoken it for a very long time. However, the computer has records on your language. So I contacted the computer and used the translation method to be able to speak it."

"What?" Katara asked, having no idea what the man had just said.

_Computer? A person that adds numbers up? _Katara asked herself, perplexed.

"Wait a minute. You mean you _just learned how to talk?_ In two minutes?" Sokka asked incredulously.

"Of course not. I've been able to talk for a long time now. I'm just borrowing the computer's translation formula to translate your language into our language."

"What's a language?" Sokka asked, puzzled.

"Language is a system of communicating ideas between people, Sokka. There are many different languages in use today, over three thousand of them. The language you are speaking hasn't been used by anyone for a long time, but we have records of it. I'm using those records to translate what I say so you can understand me."

"What do you mean, nobody speaks anymore?" Sokka demanded. "We talk all the time! I've talked to hundreds of people. Some of my best friends know how to talk! Wait—that came out wrong." Sokka paused.

"All people talk, Sokka." Andy said patiently. "It's just some people use different words."

"No they don't." Toph objected. "All four nations use the same words. If they didn't how could they understand each other?"

"That's very interesting, Toph." Andy smiled at the blind girl. "Which four nations are you talking about? There are currently over 120 you know."

"_What?" _Toph screeched. "No there aren't! There's just the Earth Kingdom, the Water Tribes, the Air Nomads and the Fire Nation. They make up the whole world. Everybody knows that."

"I'm sorry, Toph. That information is inaccurate. There are 122 nations, none of which have the names you used." The man really did seem apologetic about having to contradict the earth bender.

"Where _are _we?" Katara wondered aloud.

Andy turned to the Water Tribe girl.

"You're just outside Eureka." He answered her.

"What's Eureka?" Aang asked.

"A town. Sheriff Carter will be very interested to meet you. If you'll come with me I'm sure everything can be worked out." He smiled brightly.

"Um, no, that's ok." Aang said, beginning to feel uncomfortable around the man's never-ending smile.

"I'm afraid I must insist." Andy said apologetically. "Another member of your group has caused serious property damage and tried to injure Henry with a lightning bolt. Until the Sheriff can determine the guilt or innocence of those involved I'm afraid I'll have to place you all under arrest. I'm really terribly sorry about this. Please do not attempt to flee as that in itself is a crime."

"You're arresting us? But we didn't do anything!" Katara protested. "We put out the fire! We tried to help!"

"I'm sure that will be taken into consideration by Sheriff Carter. Now if you'll come this way please?"

"Why should we?" Toph demanded hotly. "We didn't do anything wrong! Katara's right, we just tried to help somebody in trouble. You can't arrest us for that!"

"I'm not." Andy said, smiling. "It was very kind of you to help put out the fire. But you're suspicious strangers found at the scene of a crime. If you didn't do anything wrong I'm sure Sheriff Carter will let you be on your way and we'll all have a good laugh about this."

Toph was looking mulish, crossing her arms and tapping her foot. Katara, even after her short acquaintance with the earthbending girl already knew how short tempered Toph could be. It looked like Andy was about to find out the hard way why annoying the earth bender was a bad idea.

"Aang, do something." Katara said, looking between Toph and Andy, a note of panic creeping into her voice.

"Oh spirit, I apologize if we did anything to anger you. That was not our intent. Please forgive us and let us go our way in peace." Aang bowed to Andy, who just smiled at the air bender.

"I'm not a spirit, Aang. And I'm not angry with you. But the law is the law and everyone has to obey it. Please come peacefully or I'll have to make you. And I don't want to do that, you seem like a nice bunch of folks. So why don't you do me a favor and come along peacefully, what do you say?"

The smile was beginning to grate on Aang's nerves, it wasn't natural. He was willing to bet Toph was right and the man wasn't human.

Henry spoke to Andy and said something Aang couldn't understand. Andy replied in the same babble and Henry shook his head and said something else.

"I have good news!" Andy said beaming. "Henry is the mayor of Eureka and is very grateful to you for putting out the fire. He told me to tell you that you aren't under arrest, that you're our guests. So he wants you to come into town for lunch, so we can all be friends and figure out what's going on."

"It's a trick." Sokka objected. "They just want us to come peacefully so they can gang up and capture us!"

"Sokka has a point. This guy is creepy." Toph said. "He's way too cheerful. _And_ made of metal."

"Aang? What do you think? Should we go with them?" Katara asked worriedly.

"I don't think we have a choice, Katara. We don't know where we are and there's bound to be more of them than us. I think we'll have to risk it." Aang said heavily.

He turned to Henry.

"We're going to trust you. We really aren't your enemies, so please don't treat us that way."

Andy said something to Henry, who nodded and held out his hand. Aang hesitated, then took it and shook it lightly. Henry smiled and said something to Andy.

"Henry wants to know who wants to ride with him and Grace in their—transportation." Andy frowned momentarily. "I'm sorry that word doesn't seem to be in the records. Our word is _carz_. Or _truckz_. We use them to travel from one place to another. But Grace's _car_ can't hold everyone. So two of you can ride with Henry and Grace and the other two can ride with me."

"I still say it's a trick." Sokka said sourly.

"Even if it is we don't have much choice, Sokka." Aang countered. "It seems like Azula really did burn down their house. They think we have something to do with her."

"Who is Azula? Is that the young woman that caused the trouble?" Andy asked cheerfully.

"Azula's bad news, Andy." Sokka said. "She's crazy and dangerous. We were fighting her just before—well—before we ended up here. She shot Zuko's uncle and hurt him really bad."

"Who is Zuko? Is he another of your group? Where is he?" Andy asked, beaming.

"Look, could you not smile all the time? It's making me really uncomfortable." Sokka complained.

Andy blinked.

"I'm sorry. Smiling is supposed to convey friendliness. I can stop smiling if it frightens you. Although no one else feels that way, I must say." The man seemed just a bit—disappointed. It made Sokka feel like a heel.

"Look, I'm sorry, Ok? It's just not normal for people to smile so much. As for Zuko, well, he never smiles. We were kind of fighting him too, until he started helping us fight Azula. It's—complicated."

"I see. Well, we can talk about it over lunch. Excuse me. I have to call Sheriff Carter."

He reached in his pocket and took out a small silvery object.

ooOoo

"Jo? Jo? Damn it!" Jack Carter cursed and slammed on his brakes. The SUV skidded to a stop and Jack wrestled the big vehicle back the way it came even as he was dialing Andy's number with the other.

"Hey, Andy, listen. Jo just told me she's got an emergency at GD, can you drive up to Henry's and see what the trouble is? I'm going to have my hands full."

"Of course, Sheriff Carter!" Andy's perpetually cheerful voice was as eager as a puppy. Jack sighed.

"Just find out what's going on and then give me a call, OK?"

"No problem, Sheriff." Andy said. "I'm on my way now."

"Good. Talk to you later." Jack put his phone in his pocket and hit the lights and siren, wondering what world-shattering ka-boom GD was working on now. Jack loved Eureka but he could do without Global Dynamics and their obsession with making things blow up, melt down, or fly away every five minutes.

Jack strode into the rotunda of GD to find Jo standing next to an old and frail looking Asian scientist he didn't recognize, and a third figure absolutely encased in flame retardant foam. He also couldn't help but notice the massive gaping hole in the roof.

"Whoa. What happened here?" He asked his former deputy.

"Looks like Henry's been playing again." Jo said sourly. "This guy and his injured uncle landed in the middle of the rotunda about ten minutes ago in a blaze of blue light."

"Tell me Henry isn't—"

"He is." Jo confirmed grimly.

"Oh for the love of—why is this guy covered in foam?"

"He threw fire at Allison and the fire extinguishers got him." Jo said. "But that's not important right now."

"Wait, he threw _fire_?" Jack asked. "At _Allison?"_ He glared at the teen who glared back.

"Allison's fine, Carter." Jo said hastily. "But this guy claims to be the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation."

"The which?" Jack asked, confused. Geography wasn't one of his strongest subjects but he was pretty sure there was no such place."

"Don't feel bad," Jo commented. "Dr Kwan never heard of it either. And get this. Our prince doesn't speak English, he speaks Middle Chinese. Which nobody's used in a thousand years."

"Oh great. _Great_. I'm gonna kill Henry! So how exactly do we know all this?"

"I happen to have made a study of Middle Chinese." Dr Kwan said quietly. "I'm probably one of a dozen people in the world who can still speak it."

"Only in Eureka." Jack sighed. "Jo, were you planning to de-foam our guest any time soon or do you enjoy the marshmallow look on men?"

"I was about to do that." Jo said, affronted. "But what do we do with him after that? This is _supposed_ to be a top secret research facility you know."

"Hard to remember, what with the way everybody and their brother shows up around here." Jack commented drily. "Let's get him cleaned up first and then—" He was interrupted by his phone going off.

"Hold that thought." Jack said, activating the phone. "Hello? Hi Andy. What, four _more _of them? What is this, Grand Central Station?"

He listened.

"Why not?" He sighed. "Yeah, that's fine. Tell Henry he's got some explaining to do when I see him. And it better be _good._ Meet you at Café Diem in half an hour." He looked at the bedraggled prince. "Better make that 45 minutes."

He put the phone away.

"Jo, get our guest cleaned up and bring him to Café Diem. We've got four of his friends that showed up at Henry's place. Oh, and the girl who blew up Henry's garage disappeared into the woods."

"The fun never stops, does it? Who's paying for our guests by the way? I don't think they'll have any money Vincent will take." Jo asked.

Jack smirked.

"GD, who else? You want me to come with you?"

"No, I can manage. We'd better figure out where we're housing them though. It is _not_ going to be at my house, _comprende_?"

"We'll figure out something. You mentioned an uncle?"

"Allison has him in the infirmary." Jo answered.

"I better check him out. By the way Andy patched himself into the GD mainframe, he's using Dr Kwan's database to talk to the other four. Andy was going to arrest them but Henry pulled rank. Seems these four aren't nearly as aggressive as Mister Flamethrower here. Or Henry's crazy girl. Two of the foursome actually put out the fire for him."

"Well, that was nice of them." Jo commented.

"Yeah. Dr Kwan, aside from using Andy or you as walking translators, is there any way we can talk to these people?"

"We could use the Babel Fish." Dr Kwan suggested diffidently.

"Babel fish? You built a_ Babel fish?"_ Jo started laughing.

"Yes, Miss Lupo. The practical impact of the device will be incalculable. We have several prototypes ready for field deployment. This would be the perfect opportunity to test them under real world conditions."

"What's a Babel fish?" Jack asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Oh come on Carter! You never read _Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_?" Jo asked in disbelief.

"Well, no, I was never into that sci-fi stuff. You know that."

"The Babel Fish is a translation computer, Sheriff. A self-contained, programmable translator that can translate one language into another in real time. The device is capable of handling up to 6 languages at once."

"Wow." Jack was impressed. "You mean GD actually made something useful? That _doesn't_, you know, explode?"

"Not everyone plays with flashy toys like the Astraeus project, Sheriff. Some of us prefer more mundane but practical research." Dr Kwan sniffed.

Jack blinked. Dr Kwan's department obviously hadn't received any funds from the Astraeus project then...

"Ok, help Jo get our guest cleaned up then bring those fish things to Café Diem. How many of them do you have?"

"We only had funds to build half a dozen, Sheriff." Dr Kwan said stiffly. "_Other_ projects were given priority."

"I know how you feel, Doctor. Trust me." Jack said with complete sincerity. "Jo, I'm going to the infirmary, I'll be back before you head off to Café Diem. If I'm not, wait for me."

"Gotcha. Ok, Your Highness, right this way. Dr. Kwan, if you would?"

Dr. Kwan spoke to the stranger who nodded, even looking a little more cheerful at the prospect of being foam free.

By the time Jack got to the infirmary Allison's patient was awake and looking around with jovial interest. Jack nearly whistled when he saw how much of the man's bare chest and arm were bandaged.

"Hi." Allison appeared and gave him a quick kiss. "What's going on?"

"Henry's been playing with the bridge again." Jack said in a low voice. "Looks like seven people came through: the human torch and his uncle, the girl that threw lightning and four more that put out the fire in Henry's shop. Although Andy tells me there wasn't much left by the time they did."

"What was Henry _thinking?" _Allison demanded in an angry tone, trying to keep her voice down so no one else would hear. "He _knows_ that bridge device is dangerous. I can't believe he's still messing with it!"

"Water under the bridge, Allison. So to speak. We're gathering up our guests and having a council of war at Café Diem in about half an hour. I'll tear a strip of his hide off later. How's your patient?"

"In surprisingly good shape. Whatever hit him didn't actually crack any bones, but he's going to have a pretty spectacular bruise. The burns aren't as bad as I thought they'd be. Second degree, at worst. I think his clothing soaked up most of the damage. Though to be honest I have no idea what kind of weapon could have done that to him."

"Is he behaving himself?" Jack asked, watching the old man observe everything with good natured but keen intensity.

"He was still unconscious when we brought him in. He didn't wake up until we'd already bandaged his wounds. He was very—intense—until he figured out we'd helped him. Then he relaxed and he's been like this ever since. "

"Hey, you know Dr. Kwan?" Jack asked her.

"He's the head of linguistics, and boy do I wish he was here right now. I could use his help, I don't speak Chinese."

"Apparently, neither do they." Jack said drily. "Dr. Kwan said they speak Middle Chinese, whatever that is. Oh, and our fiery friend is apparently a Crown Prince."

"What? Of where?" Allison asked, taken aback.

"Someplace called the Fire Nation." Jack said. "You ever heard of it?"

"No." She said. "Of course who knows where the bridge dragged them from? Jack, once our guests are back where they belong I suggest you get Henry to dismantle that damn thing."

"Preaching to the choir, Allison." Jack grinned. "But if we did that he'd just build another one."

"You could throw him in jail." She said, smiling.

"He's the mayor. Bad precedent, arresting the mayor." Jack chuckled.

The two compared notes for another ten minutes or so when they were joined by Jo, Zuko, and Dr Kwan, who was carrying a briefcase.

Zuko made a beeline for his uncle and the two were soon deep in conversation. Jack noticed the prince was now foam free. His clothes weren't even wet.

"Sheriff Carter, here are the Babel Fish." Dr. Kwan sat the briefcase down and snapped it open. Inside it was lined with thick foam rubber. Nestled in the foam rubber were six old-fashioned hearing aids, the kind that sat behind the ear.

"Um, a little retro, don't you think? How far from GD will they work?" Jack asked, picking up one of the devices.

"They're self contained, Sheriff, they don't require access to GD's mainframe." Dr. Kwan said, smiling.

"Great! How long are the batteries good for?"

"Twelve months."

"Really." Jack was impressed. "Even my oh-so-futuristic Eureka-issue cell phone only lasts a month."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Dr. Kwan said, hesitating just _that much_ too long.

Jack winced.

"We should give Prince Charming and his uncle a couple, don't you think?" Jack said quickly.

"I think that would be wise. Let me show them how to use the devices. They should be able to talk to you in a couple of minutes."

Dr. Kwan was as good as his word. Zuko allowed the doctor to fit the device, and the doctor spent under a minute explaining the very minimal controls.

"Can you understand me?" He finally said to Zuko.

"_Shi._Yes." Zuko looked surprised when his Chinese word was echoed back in his own voice in English.

"Wonderful!" Dr. Kwan said, beaming. "It will take you a little time to get used to hearing someone speak English and then hear the translation in your ear. However you'll soon learn to ignore it. It may take longer to ignore the translation echo when you speak, but I promise you will eventually."

"Thank you." Zuko grimaced. "I see what you mean about the echoes."

"You should be fine in a day or two. Now let me give this to your uncle. Oh, by the way, _please_ be careful with these devices. They are prototypes and quite expensive."

"I will. And thank you again." Zuko bowed to Dr. Kwan who bowed back.

Iroh was soon fitted with his Babel Fish. He listened to the doctor's brief explanation and nodded.

"Hello, everyone. So glad to finally be able to speak with you." Iroh said with a big smile on his face. "And you most especially, my beautiful dark hibiscus flower."

"Oh, he's a charmer, this one." Allison said, smiling in spite of herself. "All right, everybody out! Now that I can talk to my patient, I need to construct a medical history." Allison shooed them all out, politely but firmly sliding the curtain shut after them.

"Ok then." Jack said, blinking at the curtain and feeling somehow slighted. "We need to get going, the others should be at Café Diem by now. Dr. Kwan, I guess you should come along so you can teach them how to fish."

"Excuse me?" Dr. Kwan asked, his forehead wrinkled in puzzlement.

"The fish things." Jack paused as he was met with a politely blank stare. "You know what? Forget I said that. I'm sure you'll want to keep an eye on your devices and make sure they're in good hands."

Jo snickered.

Somehow Jack managed to survive the ride to Café Diem with at least a tattered scrap of decorum remaining.

As they got out of the SUV Jack pulled the fire nation prince aside.

"Hey, hold up a minute. Zuko right?"

"Yes?"

"Ok, Zuko, here's the thing. You caused a lot of trouble at GD and I don't want anything like that here, understood?"

"I had just been in a battle. I didn't understand you weren't more enemies. You have my parole, Sheriff."

"Ok, but here's the other thing." Jack glared at Zuko. "That fire you threw? You threw it at my _girlfriend_. You used up any slack I had to give when you did that."

"Yeah, sorry about that. If it means anything I wasn't trying to hit her, only warn her back."

"All right, I can accept that. But if it happens again I will _return fire_. And I won't miss. Do we understand one another?"

"You're a fire bender?" Zuko asked, raising one eyebrow.

Jack slapped the gun at his hip.

"This is the fire I'm talking about." Jack said with just the right amount of menace in his voice.

"Is that a weapon of some kind?" Zuko asked with professional interest.

"What—seriously? You mean you've never seen a gun before?"

"No, I haven't. What does it do, throw fire?"

"No." Jack said, somewhat at a loss. "Well, kind of. But the—you know what? Let's just go eat."

It wasn't turning out to be his best day.

Dr. Kwan politely held the door for everyone, which is why Jack was behind Zuko when the prince halted and balled his fists. He was staring at the large table where Henry, Grace, Andy, and four oddly dressed kids were sitting.

"Behave yourself." Jack growled softly. Stiffly the prince nodded and continued on toward the table.

"Jack, there you are." Henry said with a big grin. "I'd like to introduce our four newest guests. May I present Aang, Katara, Toph, and Sokka?"

"Zuko." Katara said in a flat voice. Jack blinked as water suddenly slithered out of the glasses on the table and coiled around her hand.

"Oh, this can't be good." Jack muttered to himself. "How is she _doing _that?"

Zuko spoke, the odd double echo shocking the four kids seated at the table.

"Katara, I gave my parole to these people. I'll keep the peace if you will."

She stared at Zuko with a complete lack of expression, the water flowing slowly around her hand and wrist like entwined serpents.

Jack was very glad she wasn't staring at him that way. She was no more than fifteen—but he was pretty sure she was contemplating murder. Aang must have thought the same thing; he put his hand on her shoulder.

Without breaking eye contact with Zuko she slowly raised her hand until it was pointed at the ceiling. The water serpents separated and flowed back into the glasses they'd come from. An instant later there was no hint the water had ever moved.

Still staring at Zuko she said something in Chinese.

"She said _for now_." Dr. Kwan said quietly.

"Um, why don't we get them fitted with those fish things?" Jack said hastily. "I think we want to avoid any further misunderstandings, don't you?"

"That _is_ my life's work, Sheriff." Dr. Kwan sat the briefcase down and was soon deep in discussion with the four kids about the devices.

"She was thinking about killing him where he stood wasn't she?" Jo murmured behind Jack's shoulder.

"Uh huh. That's one scary little girl." Jack said just as softly. "I think we need to keep a close eye on all of them. We don't want an international incident."

"Inter-temporal, Carter." Jo corrected him in a murmur.

"Whatever. I just want it not to happen. I'm pretty sure we don't have a form for it."

"Actually…" Jo started.

"You've got to be _kidding _me!" Jack protested to her as they found seats.


	4. 4 Détente Café Diem Style

Chapter 4 – Détente Café Diem Style

"Before we get started I want to stress to all our guests that Eureka is _neutral territory_. There's to be no violence of any kind, do I make myself clear?" Jack asked, staring at each of the teens in turn.

"I don't know how you can throw fire or make water turn all snake-y and I don't _want_ to know. What I do want is to keep Eureka nice and peaceful with nobody trying to kill anybody else. I'm looking at you, Katara."

"I didn't start the war, Sheriff." Katara said watching him steadily. "But I give you my word I won't _start_ trouble."

Her emphasis on the word _start _worried Jack just a little. Then he did a double-take.

"War? _What_ war?" Jack asked, blind-sided. "Who's at war?"

All five of the strangers looked at him like he'd grown a second head.

"How can you not know about the war?" Katara asked, bewildered. "It's been going on for a hundred years! The Fire Nation attacked everyone else. They managed to wipe out all the Air Nomads except for Aang."

"Would have gotten Aang too if he hadn't frozen himself inside an iceberg." Sokka commented casually as he shoveled food in his mouth as fast as he could. "This is really good! Toph you gotta try this!"

Toph used her chopsticks to filch a morsel off Sokka's plate.

"Tastes like possum-chicken!" She announced to the table. "But really _good _possum-chicken."

"Wait, _iceberg? _Possum-chicken?" Jo said with raised eyebrows. "Dr. Kwan are you sure the Babel Fish are working properly?"

"Yes, Miss Lupo. That's really what they said." Dr. Kwan was looking at the newcomers with a somewhat bewildered expression.

"Let me guess. No war so no possum-chicken, right? Gotta say I'd trade possum-chicken for war myself." Toph said easily. "Wait. I meant no war."

"We have possums. And we have chickens." Jack said. "But nobody's ever stuck them together. They haven't, have they?" He asked Jo.

"Not that I know of." She admitted. "But you know Taggart. It's probably only a matter of time."

"Speaking of Taggart," Henry broke in. "Guess who led our new guests to my charbroiled doorstep?"

"No." Jack started chuckling. "Not Taggart's great white whale?"

"Yup. I guess Lowjack thought they looked lost." Henry chuckled.

"So that's what he is? A whale?" Sokka asked. "Then how come he has legs? He seems, I dunno, really smart. _Too _smart."

"Smarter than Taggart." Jo snickered. "Taggart's been chasing Lowjack for _years_. Only time he ever caught him was when we had to bring Lowjack in because he got hurt. And _then_ somehow Lowjack managed to escape the escape-proof cage Taggart had built especially to hold him."

"Oh, and Lowjack's a dog, Sokka, not a whale." Henry said, laughing. "The great white whale is a metaphor from a famous book. It means obsessing over something that's impossible to catch."

"What's a dog?" Sokka asked, scratching his ear.

That brought the conversation to a screeching halt.

"You don't have dogs where you're from?" Grace asked, surprised.

"Nope. Never saw anything like Lowjack before."

"What do you have as pets then?" Henry asked.

"Well, there's Momo. He's a lemur. And Appa, but I guess he's more a mount than a pet, right Aang?" Sokka offered.

"Appa's my friend. He's a sky bison." Aang said casually. "The monks used to keep lemurs as pets. They were the only thing that made sense in the monasteries since they could fly. And Sokka's right, sky bison really aren't pets."

"Remember the pirates, Aang? They had that iguana-parrot." Katara offered.

"I had a flying piglet." Toph offered. "Until he got too big and we had to let him go."

"Flying piglet?" Jo started laughing. "We have an expression here Toph—'when pigs fly'. It means _never_."

"How come?" Toph asked. "All pigs can fly! My family's symbol is a flying boar."

"OK, that pretty much establishes you're from Never-Never land." Jack said. "I'm not a brainy scientist type like Henry here, but even I know pigs don't have wings—well, most pigs. Outside Eureka I mean. And even here only one. Maybe two…"

"Seven." Grace corrected. "Although they weren't able to fly, even as piglets. They could kind of break their fall when very young, but the adults couldn't even do that. They used their wings to fan themselves."

"Only in Eureka." Jack sighed, shaking his head. "_Why—_no. No, I don't want to know."

"Taggart." Jo supplied succinctly.

"Of course." Jack sighed again.

"Well, Jack does have a valid point," Henry interjected. "None of the creatures you've mentioned exist in our world. We thought for a while you came from our past because you spoke a language that's from a long time ago. But given the abilities you demonstrate and the way you talk about having only four nations, well—"

"Henry, what were you _thinking?_" Jack asked, exasperated. "The local brand of weird not good enough for you? You decided you had to import something special because my life isn't interesting enough?"

"I was trying to create a gateway as a backup for Astraeus, all right? I was very careful to keep the wormhole confined to three dimensions this time." Henry said defensively.

"Except you opened up a hole to the freaking Twilight Zone!" Jack retorted—then paused.

"Um, no offense." He said to the five newcomers.

"None taken." Sokka waved his hand dismissively. "You get used to weird stuff when you travel with the Avatar."

"Speak for yourself." Zuko muttered. "This is the first time for me."

"The question is how do we get back?" Toph asked.

"That shouldn't be a problem." Henry said. "All I have to do is use the same settings as before."

"Great!" Sokka said. "So why don't we all go home right now? Not that the food here is terrible or anything." He said hastily, looking hopefully at his plate in case anything was left.

"Henry, wasn't your portal generator pretty much melted in the fire?" Jack asked carefully.

Henry opened his mouth to reply, and then paused.

"That could be a problem." He admitted. "But it shouldn't take long to build a new generator; the schematics are on the GD mainframe."

"What's a mainframe?" Sokka asked interestedly.

"Big computer." Jack grunted as he bit into his sandwich.

"Okay," Sokka said with exaggerated patience. "What's a computer?"

Jack swallowed. He didn't notice Henry waiting for his answer with bated breath and a gleeful expression.

"Um, a machine that thinks." Jack said after failing to come up with a better answer. Henry laughed, nudging his wife with his elbow.

"Pay up." He told her. She just sighed resignedly.

"Jack! Computers do _not_ think!" Jo scolded him.

"SARAH does," he said defensively. "So does Andy."

"Well, okay, but the mainframe doesn't." Jo stabbed an inoffensive slice of cucumber with unnecessary force.

"Who's Sara?" Sokka asked, wondering if he'd ever get a straight answer.

"My house." Jack said, sighing.

"Your house thinks?" Sokka asked, blinking.

"And talks. Incessantly." Jack agreed.

"This place is _weird_." Sokka declared, sitting back.

"Thank you! Yes. Yes it is." Jack said. He felt a warm glow of vindication. Someone else had _finally_ said it aloud.

"At any rate I should have a working generator in a couple of weeks." Henry grinned at Jack. "As long as it doesn't try for a doctorate, that is."

"Oh, _very_ funny." Jack said, rolling his eyes. "You do know this whole mess is your fault, right?"

"Jack, you know we never point fingers." Henry said with wounded dignity. "I'll build a new generator and get these kids back where they belong."

"That reminds me. Crazy Girl is still on the loose." Jack said. "Any idea how to catch her?"

"Azula." Katara almost hissed the name.

"My sister is here? Oh joy." Zuko groaned.

"She's your sister? Your family dinners must be—interesting." Henry said, remembering the sound of the lightning as it had passed over him.

"You have no idea." Zuko said drily. "Azula's crazy. Even Uncle thinks so. She's the one who hurt him."

"She shot her own uncle?" Grace asked, startled. "Why?"

"It's—complicated." Zuko said, clearly daunted.

"Azula was trying to catch the Avatar." Toph explained. "So's Zuko, come to think of it. Wait, why were you helping us again?"

"Because my sister is crazy." Zuko said shortly. "I have to capture the Avatar to restore my honor so my father will restore my birthright. Azula wants to capture the Avatar to claim the glory and deny my claim to the throne."

"Lovely girl." Jo said sarcastically. "Anyone ever tell you your family is seriously dysfunctional?"

"They wouldn't dare." Zuko said, laughing bitterly. "My father doesn't take criticism well."

"Sounds like a typical royal family from history. Succession during a time of war is always chancy." Andy said, surprising everyone.

"What?" Jack blinked. "How do you know that?"

"_1575 Essays_ by Michel de Montaigne." Andy replied, beaming. "SARAH says that I should become more refined. She says understanding humanity is the highest refinement."

"Did she?" Jack blinked.

"Sounds like SARAH has hidden depths, Jack." Grace said, chuckling at the look on his face. "I suppose every woman wants to improve her man."

"Wait, _what?_" Sokka sputtered. "Didn't you say Sara was your house? So she and he are—"

"Yeah." Jack nodded. "It's—complicated. Really, _really_ complicated. You don't want to go there."

"Aww, I think it's sweet." Katara said, looking at Aang.

"I've heard love conquers all, but _really? _A house and a metal man?" Sokka trailed off, staring into space. Toph was laughing so hard she had to stop eating.

"How do you know Andy's made of metal, Sokka?" Henry asked, staring intently.

"Huh? Oh, Toph told me." Sokka said, snapping back to the present.

"How did you know, Toph?" Henry asked.

"My earthbending sense." She said casually, finally managing to stifle her snickers. She started eating again.

"Earthbending sense? What's that?" Andy asked in a chipper tone.

"It's what I use to see with. You know, 'cause I'm blind and all." Toph waved a hand in front of her eyes and grinned at the android. "I can sense vibrations in the earth."

"A seismic sense?" Henry asked, fascinated. "Amazing. I had no idea you were blind, Toph. You don't act like it."

"I can see. I just use my feet instead of my eyes." Toph said dismissively. "It's no big deal."

"Oh, hold on! I _get_ it now!" Jack said, laughing. "Earth, air, fire and water. The four _elements_. That's why they said there were four nations! They aren't talking about _countries_ they're talking about the classical elements!"

"I'm impressed, Jack." Henry said, grinning. "Nice deduction."

"Yes, well I did go to college, Henry." Jack said smugly. "I may not be a super genius but at least I took mythology."

"What are you talking about?" Zuko asked, puzzled. "There _are_ four nations. The Fire Nation, the Water Tribes, the Earth Kingdom and the Air Nomads. The Water Tribes live at the poles and the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom are on opposite sides of the world. The Air Nomads lived on mountaintops around the world."

Jack's grin slipped.

"Are you telling me your world _literally_ has only four countries on it?" Jack demanded incredulously.

"You know, for super-smart people you guys don't seem to know very much." Sokka said, cleaning his ear with a finger.

"Sokka!" Katara exclaimed, horrified.

"I'm just saying." He shrugged. "I'm not the sharpest harpoon in the boat but even I know this stuff. _Everybody _knows this stuff."

ooOoo

Azula leaned against a scraggly tree, breathing hard. She'd been on the move for hours, trying to find anything even vaguely familiar. The trees were wrong, the terrain was wrong, the whole climate was wrong. She wasn't an expert tracker but she at least knew how to retrace her path using the sun and landmarks.

The trouble was she'd never seen any of these landmarks before. Even from the vantage point of the high and barren ridge she'd stumbled across she couldn't see anything familiar.

This was both impossible and infuriating.

It was impossible because she could see _much_ further than she'd managed to walk so far, and infuriating because it made no sense. It was as though a giant hand had plucked her from one part of the world and dumped her in another—without her noticing.

Even worse she'd run across no trace of Mai or Ty Lee.

Fuming to herself she descended the ridge, heading eastward to keep the sun out of her eyes. Since she had no idea where she was it was as good a direction as any.

Once under the trees again it was quiet, with just the sound of the wind to keep her company. Her footsteps were muffled by years of fallen needles from the pines around her. That's why she didn't hear the woman who stepped out from behind a tree to block her path. The shock of her appearance flooded the princess with adrenalin. The woman was unnaturally pale, almost pink, her skin nearly glowing under the dimness of the trees.

The woman smiled a cynical smile and started to speak some kind of gibberish. Azula instinctively and violently leaped to one side, recognizing the smile as the same kind she often wore herself.

There were a pair of loud popping noises and something hissed through the air where she'd been standing. She hadn't see anything but she'd sparred with Mai often enough to know what it meant. Spinning in place she sent a burst of flame at the man standing some thirty feet away. He was holding something long and thin against his shoulder, trying to correct his aim even as the fire struck him full in the face. Screaming he dropped the thing and staggered away already engulfed in flames from the shoulders up.

Azula continued her spin and flawlessly completed a double attack, kicking backward toward the woman and extending her arm toward a second man also holding one of those thin metal and wooden devices. Azula's attack struck him full in the chest, knocking him backward. The girl kept the flames pouring on both targets for another heartbeat. The man in front of her was covered in flames from the knees up, screaming and rolling on the ground, trying to extinguish them.

Azula threw herself into a roll just in case. A blast of lightning from behind her rewarded her paranoia. The bolt missed her. Azula continued her roll, sending a fireball at the woman now mostly concealed behind a tree.

The fireball made the woman duck back, and Azula took the opportunity to rise to one knee and pour fire from both hands to either side of the tree concealing her attacker. She concentrated on the forest floor, knowing the fallen needles would ignite easily. She was proven right, and the woman was forced from her concealment, running backward. She had some kind of glittering metal object held in both hands and pointed at Azula—who wasted no time throwing herself to the side.

The device spat a large electrical arc that passed close enough for Azula to feel the energy tug at her chi. The princess started throwing a rapid stream of fireballs at her opponent, laughing in wild joy.

Dodging and weaving, using trees to block the barrage where possible the spirit woman retreated. She sent two more bolts of electricity toward Azula, who ignored the first wild shot and dodged the second even as she charged the spirit woman.

The spirit woman turned and ran, trying to lose Azula. The fire princess refused to allow her attacker to slip away. She had trained for this, pushing her mind and body to the peak of perfection. She knew how this hunt would end—with the spirit woman's charred corpse.

But the spirit woman was fast on her feet, and obviously knew a lot of tricks to throw off pursuit. On top of that her weapon was no less deadly than Azula's own lightning. That's why when she managed to slip out of Azula's sight for a couple of heartbeats the fire princess sent two waves of fire ahead of her, one horizontally and one into the treetops. The spirit woman shouted in annoyance from ten feet up in a tree, and a lightning bolt spat at Azula. The princess let her chi flow and deflected the bolt she hadn't managed to dodge entirely. She used the residual energy to pump her own lightning and send a massive bolt back into the tree.

Shaken from the partial strike Azula's aim was off. The bolt struck the tree trunk next to where the spirit woman crouched instead of the woman herself.

The bolt arced from the trunk into the spirit woman's weapon, making her yelp and drop it. Azula smiled, knowing victory was seconds away as she raced toward the tree.

She never expected the spirit woman to utter a loud scream of rage and leap down toward her, leg extended to deliver a lethal kick…


	5. 5 Crazy Is As Crazy Does

Chapter 5 – Crazy Is As Crazy Does

Taggart emerged from his shack as both of Eureka's police vehicles pulled into his yard.

"Afternoon, Sheriff!" The blonde man's close cropped hair seemed to fascinate the teenagers that piled out of both vehicles.

"Afternoon, Taggart." Jack said. "Looks like we've got a job for you."

"Oh? What wee beastie slipped its leash this time? Jo, you're looking lovely as always, will you be joining me in the hunt today?"

"Looks that way." Jo said, smiling at the older man. "We're after the most dangerous game, Taggart."

"Oh ho! Human is it? What's so special about this one you need my matchless expertise?"

"She can throw lightning." Jack said drily. "Oh, and apparently fire as well."

"Sorry?" Taggart blinked. It was the first time Jack had ever seen him actually dumbfounded. "Fire, you say?"

"Blue fire." Jack said, enjoying this entirely too much. "And blue lightning too. She's really got the whole blue thing going on. Oh yeah, her name's _Azula_."

Taggart snorted. "Oh, Sheriff you had me on for a bit! Blue fire, forsooth!" He threw his head back and let loose with a gleeful shriek of laughter that made Sokka take a cautious step back. The madly laughing individual was supposed to be an expert hunter. This would make him highly dangerous…

"No joke, Taggart." Jo said with a sharp look at Carter. "She's completely out of control. Blew up Henry's garage after nearly electrocuting him then took off. She attacked her own uncle. Gave _him_ second degree burns. She nearly cracked one of his ribs too."

"Nasty bit of work, eh? Hey wait, is Henry ok?" Taggart asked in concern. "Bloke owes me a fiver! Hate for him to shuffle off this mortal coil 'fore I get it back."

"Your concern is touching." Jo said drily. "We need to find her before anybody else gets hurt."

"Yeah, this sheila needs some serious time out. Crikey! Well, we'd best be off before our little miss gets any more of a head start. How long's it been?"

"About three hours." Jo answered.

"I assume you want her alive, Sheriff?" Taggart asked wistfully.

"That's—a safe assumption." Jack managed. Taggart grinned at him.

"So what's our sheila look like then?"

"Asian, about as tall as her," Jo said pointing at Katara. "dressed in some kind of reddish brown outfit, pants with really wide legs, some kind of long-sleeved matching jacket. Trust me, she won't be hard to recognize."

"Just look out for her lightning." Zuko said. Taggart blinked at the English echoed after the Chinese.

"That's an odd accent." He said mildly.

"Babel Fish." Jo said tersely. "You'll get used to it."

"So, tranquilizer rifles then?" Taggart asked brightly. Jo shook her head.

"No. Azula's apparently black belt level—she's _fast_. She could fry us before the anesthetic took effect. I brought a couple of Goo guns."

"Never liked those things." Taggart said, making a face. "Make such a mess. Besides, we might suffocate her unless we aim _real _careful. If she's as fast as you say she is I doubt she'll give us that much time."

"I thought about using phasers but if she can manipulate electricity they'd be useless." Jo said.

"Phasers my aunt Fanny." Taggart sneered. "This ain't Star Trek and while they're nifty little corkers, phasers they are most definitely _not_. Somebody got a case of the sillies when they named them that."

"Maybe." Jo conceded in exasperation. "So what do _you_ suggest, Taggart? Net guns?"

"Nope. Wait right here. I've got something that just might do the trick." Taggart disappeared into his shack, emerging a minute later carrying a large, almost bazooka-like weapon.

"Um, Taggart we want her _alive_." Jack said hastily, eyeing the massive black weapon with misgivings.

"No worries, Sheriff!" He said cheerfully. "This is my own personal refinement of the PX319. Meet the PX3318. Instead of paranoia and rage, this baby produces another effect altogether. One hit from this and our little missy's not going to be able to _move_. Well, for at least long enough to give Jo her shot."

"The PX319 could only produce two effects, Taggart." Jo said. "Paranoid rage and—Wait. You didn't! You _creep!_"

"I did." He said smugly. "Guaranteed non-lethal and _absolutely _effective. Unless you want to risk strangling the poor wayward child with that nasty goo?"

"So what does it do?" Katara asked apprehensively. If the woman was willing to risk suffocating Azula instead of using Taggart's big tube thing…

"Well you see—" Taggart started to explain only to be cut off by Jo poking him forcefully in the chest with her finger.

"Not. Another. Word." She growled. "There are children present you reprobate."

"We're not _children_." Toph said with a hint of a snarl. "Saving the worldhere! Which reminds me, Twinkle Toes, if we're stuck here for a while you need to keep up with your earthbending, got it?"

"Yes Shi Fu Toph." Aang said with a sigh.

"Heaven knows I'm no fan of Azula," Katara said slowly, looking at the big black tube. "But Jo seems to think using this weapon is worse than killing her. That can't be good."

Jo hesitated, then threw up her hands and gave a wordless snarl. "All right you crazy old loon. Have it your way. But you watch where you aim that thing, _comprende? _Or so help me I will _hurt _you."

"Promises, promises." He chuckled, slinging the thing over his back. "Well, time's a wastin' and our brumby's got enough of a lead already. I'm thinking we're gonna want horses for this…"

Jo grinned as he led her away. She _loved_ horses.

"Horses?" Zuko asked, perplexed. "Did he mean ostrich-horses?"

"No." Jack chuckled. "He meant horses. Four legs, fur. They eat hay."

"Weird." Sokka said quietly, shaking his head.

ooOoo

Azula tried to dodge the spirit woman but it was too late. The woman's foot smashed into her shoulder with the force of a ten foot fall behind it, slamming her into the ground. There was a sickening crack and agonizing pain shot down her arm. Azula screamed.

Using her other arm she managed a weak burst of flames that caught the spirit woman from knee to waist, burning through her flimsy clothing and making the woman scream in agony. The woman managed to stagger off into the trees, beating her smoldering clothes and cursing in pain from the burns. Azula watched the other lurch off and snarled in a combination of satisfaction, malice and pain.

She knew she was in serious trouble. If the woman had friends she was dead. The screaming pain of her broken collar bone left her unable to focus her thoughts. In spite of the urgency it still took her a full minute to force her abused body to roll over so she could struggle to her feet.

Groaning in pain she finally got her jacket off. Using her good hand and her teeth she managed to knot the sleeves and make a makeshift sling. Once her arm was immobilized she breathed a sigh of relief and debated whether or not to go after the spirit.

On the one hand it would be sensible to hunt her down. She couldn't allow the spirit woman to reach allies. If she did Azula couldn't hope to beat them—and she doubted they'd be satisfied with mere _capture _when she lost. Death would be preferable to what they'd likely do.

On the plus side there was no way the spirit woman could evade Azula's ranged attacks with her leg burned like that. This was good, because Azula had no intention of getting within arm's reach again. The spirit had proven uncomfortably adept at hand to hand combat.

On the other hand Azula was in no shape for a grueling hunt through the forested mountains. Aside from the collarbone she felt sure she had wrenched her back hitting the ground. One knee was aching as well.

She hadn't eaten in hours, and she was exhausted from the fight and tramping through the mountains. She consoled herself with the thought her tiredness was the only reason she'd underestimated the spirit. If she had been fit the spirit would never have gotten the drop on her.

She _was _a princess, after all and the spirit no better than a peasant.

Feeling better from her rationalization she reluctantly abandoned the pursuit and turned her attention to more immediate concerns. She had to find shelter, food, and water. Fortunately, survival techniques had been part of her training.

Water at least wasn't a problem. She'd crossed several streams during her march. Shelter was another matter—with the spirit woman around she didn't dare camp in the open, and she was willing to bet the spirit knew the surrounding countryside intimately. Which meant Azula needed a campsite she could easily defend. That might be a problem since she hadn't run into anything like that during her march.

In any case food wasn't an issue. During her trek she'd recognized several edible plants. She made her way through the deepening gloom, gathering as much as she could carry in her sling as she went.

For shelter she finally decided on a small gully. It ended in a hollow hidden by some bushes. Azula settled into the hollow and took out her soldier's mess kit, a compact and ingenious set of interlocking pieces that every Fire Nation soldier carried. She congratulated herself for heeding her father's advice to carry it on her person instead of her mount.

She dared a small fire, so she could mash and cook several of the long thin tuberous roots she'd recovered. She used the kit's small collapsing cup to get water from the stream that ran through the gully.

Cursing the awkwardness of cutting and mashing the roots with only one good hand she finally managed enough to prepare a meager supper. For desert she munched a handful of beech nuts she'd been lucky enough to stumble across.

After eating she tried to arrange herself so her back was cradled as comfortably as the hollow allowed, ending up seated on the ground and slightly reclined. It wasn't perfect, but it shouldn't leave her crippled come morning.

Stoically she doused the fire and tried to get some sleep. The strange sounds in the forest woke her every few minutes. Each time she made a quick check to verify nothing was creeping up on her, and then she would doze off again until the next noise.

Once she heard a weird muffled thunder that echoed through the trees. It lasted for several minutes, went away briefly, then came back for less than a minute and died away. Unable to guess what it might have been she uneasily dozed off, slipping into dreamless exhausted slumber.

ooOoo

Jo and Taggart made it to Henry's garage in under an hour, each riding one horse and leading another. Once there they dismounted and started poking around the burned out building, looking for anything that might set them on Azula's trail.

"You know what would be really useful right about now?" Jo said as she prodded a burned out power supply.

"What?" Taggart asked, peering around. "Strewth, she did a right proper job of it."

"A dog. So we could follow her scent." Jo replied.

A grey head poked out of some bushes not too far away. It was staring at her in curiosity.

"Nearest bloodhounds are in Three Rivers." Taggart said dismissively. "By the time we got 'em here the trail would be cold."

"Well, we really only need _one_…" Jo said, grinning as the gray head's owner slipped out of the bushes to sit watching Jo. It was able to hear her because she deliberately raised her voice so it could.

"What are you on about, Jo?" Taggart asked in irritation as he scanned the side of the garage. Then he grunted in satisfaction.

"Found where she came out of the building. Looks like she's headed east." He said.

"So, if I found us a dog you _could_ use him?" Jo asked, watching Lowjack. The dog waved its tail slowly as it considered the idea of playing bloodhound. Then it stared at Taggart's back and grinned a doggy grin.

"Could use one." Taggart admitted. "Make following the trail a lot easier and the job go faster. Who do you know that has a tracking dog around here?"

He looked up and noticed her fixed stare. Turning around his mouth fell open.

"_Lowjack?_" He said in a strangled wheeze. "You want me to work with that—that—canine _menace? _Are you mad as a cut snake, Jo?"

"We need a dog." She said reasonably.

"A _dog_, yes, not a genetic freak show!" Taggart yelled. He pointed at Lowjack. "I've got your number, mister. Don't think I've forgotten about you, you—_canis familiaris_ Houdini!"

"Well, if Lowjack promised not to do anything freakily genetic, and _you_ promised not to try and catch him I think we could nab that girl before she hurts somebody." Jo said reasonably. "Come on, Taggart! Compromise! After all, I'm not bitching about that thing slung over your back now _am I?"_ A glint of teeth that wasn't really a smile reminded him Lowjack wasn't the only creature with animal instincts around here.

"Jo, be _reasonable_." Taggart pleaded. "That creature has been the bane of my existence for years!"

"Only because you keep trying to catch him." She pointed out. "It's not his fault he's smarter than you are."

"_He is not smarter than me!_" Taggart yelled.

"Oh, did I say that out loud?" Jo tried to look contrite as Taggart glared at her.

"Look, Jim." Jo turned serious. "Azula's already tried to burn her uncle to death and electrocute Henry. She's _dangerous_. How would you feel if she toasted some innocent family out camping in the woods? She could, you know. We need Lowjack's help."

Taggart actually whined in frustration, looking between her and Lowjack. The dog stared back, his doggy grin widening. Taggart just _knew_ the miserable beast was laughing at him.

"Fine." He huffed. "This _once_ I'll work with that misbegotten mongrel." He glared at Lowjack. "A truce for now, beast! But next time I'm going to put you in a cage, you mangy, flea-bitten mutt."

The sound Lowjack made was derisive. He turned his attention to Jo and barked once.

"I promise to make sure Taggart behaves. Will you help us track down the girl? I'll personally buy you a meal at Café Diem and give you a day's head start before Taggart starts chasing you."

The dog made another derisive noise looking at Taggart. And then, as if rub it in, he actually bowed to Jo, complete with swept front leg and lowered head.

"Show off." Taggart grumbled.


	6. 6 Sympathy For The Devil

Chapter 6 – Sympathy For The Devil

"Put some muscle in it, Twinkle Toes! That rock's not going to move itself!" Toph shouted as Aang sweated, staring at a craggy boulder in dismay.

"Is she always like that?" Grace asked Katara as they, Sokka, and Zuko sat in the shade while Toph berated Aang. "She can't be more than twelve years old!"

"Pretty much." Katara admitted. "She's not been with us very long. Sometimes I think she's a little too—" The girl hesitated, not wanting to insult the earth bender.

"Aggressive?" Sokka suggested. "Pushy? Insane?"

"Assertive." Katara said firmly. "She said earth is a stubborn element. I guess it takes strong-willed benders to work with it."

"I still can't believe how you manipulate the elements like you do. Fire, earth, air and water. It's like a fairy tale." Grace said, watching Aang try again. "I mean it defies logic. They're not even _elements_. That boulder's probably made of at least eight elements. Water's made of two. Air's got at least a dozen."

"Well, Aang's the only one who can bend them all." Katara said. "Everybody else can only bend one element—or they can't bend at all. What did you mean about water being two elements? Like ice and water?"

"No, hydrogen and oxygen." Grace explained. "Ice is just frozen water."

"What's hydrogen and oxygen?" Sokka asked.

"Well, oxygen's what we breathe. Hydrogen is a light gas and it catches fire really easily."

"Wait, so water's got air in it?" Katara asked, perplexed. "If that's true then why can't I bend air?"

"I think your elements are more like states of matter." Grace said after thinking a moment. "You call them earth, water, air, and fire. We call them solid, liquid, gas and plasma. Of course that's just here on Earth. Out there in the universe there's at least 20 different states of matter."

"I _knew_ you guys were spirits!" Sokka said excitedly. "You live in a different world than we do, and now you're talking about the universe! I was right!" He fell back on the grass, grinning.

"Well, actually," Grace began, "we aren't spirits Sokka. We're as human as you are. We just know more about the way reality works, that's all.

"Then how come you talk about the universe like you've been there?" Sokka asked shrewdly.

"Because we _have_ been there." Grace said, smiling. "Actually, our _machines_ have been there. Well, maybe a hundred people have too. Did you know a dozen men have actually walked on the moon?"

"_What?_" Sokka asked, shooting straight up and staring at her, appalled.

"Does that violate one of your taboos?" Grace asked, noting Sokka had gone deathly pale. Katara was looking shocked as well.

"They walked on _Yue?_" Sokka's tone was an enraged growl. "How dare they? I'll _kill_ them!" His fists were clenched and he was grinding his teeth.

"I apologize if that sounds sacrilegious, Sokka. Forgive me for mentioning it. Perhaps we should change the subject?" Grace was concerned at how much the teen was overreacting. Given what Jack had told her about Katara's reaction to Zuko she was afraid he might do something rash. She'd never seen anyone so angry before.

"You can't just walk all over Yue! She diedto save the world! Walking on her is just—just—" There were tears in his eyes and his hands were clenching and unclenching rapidly.

Katara gathered her brother into a hug, looking at Grace with a mixture of sadness and contempt that made no sense to the scientist.

She tried to apologize.

"Sokka, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. But here the moon is a place, not a person. It's about a quarter the size of Earth but there's no air or water there. Just a huge rock circling the Earth. It's a dead world."

Sokka tore himself away from his sister and glared at Grace. He tried to speak a couple of times then rose to his feet and stalked off, nearly running. Katara watched him go then looked at Grace. When she spoke her voice was icy.

"Do you know who Yue was, Grace? Let me tell who she was and what she did to save the world. So you know."

"Yue was the Princess of the Northern water tribe. We met her when we got there. She was beautiful and gentle and kind. And she was brave. Braver than _any_ of us."

Katara watched the black woman with narrowed eyes. "My brother fell for her pretty hard. I think Yue really liked him too. But the war took her away from him, just like it took our mother away from us."

"A man named Zhao attacked the city with a massive fleet of ships. There were too many—we couldn't hold them off. They breached the walls and Zhao reached the sacred pool where the moon and ocean spirits lived. We were there when Zhao murdered the moon spirit. It happened so fast nobody could stop him."

She watched the scientist with an intensity that made the woman very uncomfortable.

"Grace, when the moon spirit died _the moon disappeared."_

Grace gaped at the girl. Katara nodded.

"I was there, Grace. I saw the moon vanish. I _felt_ it vanish. My water bending went with it—all water bending went with it. I thought we'd lost the war—that it was all over. Zhao had won."

"But Yue saved us. Because of what the moon spirit had given her as a baby after she almost died."

"Her father asked the moon spirit to save her, and it did. By giving her part of its life. So when the spirit died Yue—returned its gift. She gave the spirit back its life. _Her _life."

"What?" Grace asked, although she knew exactly what Katara was saying.

"She _died_, Grace. She gave her life back to the moon spirit and she _died_. Sokka caught her body as she fell backward. The instant she died the moon reappeared and water bending came back."

"Now do you understand what you did to Sokka? What your people did, those men who walked on the moon?"

Grace couldn't speak for the grief squeezing her chest. She hadn't done anything, but she felt the guilt all the same.

"I don't know if your moon is really our moon or not. But to Sokka there can only be one moon. And her name is _Yue_."

Katara shuddered, and her voice thawed just a bit.

"I was there and I saw her spirit floating upward. I saw her turn into the moon and I saw the color come back to the world. Because of what she did—what she gave up."

"Did you know she kissed Sokka just before giving up her life? _That_ was Yue, Grace. That's who the moon really is. So now you know why Sokka is so upset."

Katara rose, looking down on the scientist.

"Excuse me. I have to go find my brother."

She turned and swiftly walked away. Zuko's eyes followed her for a moment before turning to regard Grace.

"I didn't know." She said softly. "How could I have known? That poor girl. I never would have said anything had I known."

"If it's any consolation." Zuko said after a moment, "My uncle was there when the ocean spirit killed Zhao."

She met his gaze. "No, Prince Zuko. It's no consolation at all. Revenge doesn't bring back the dead. It just fills graveyards." She said sadly.

ooOoo

Lowjack easily found Azula's trail and was able to follow it in a ground-eating lope.

"At this rate we should catch up by morning." Taggart commented to Jo as the horses trotted along to keep the dog in sight. "She won't be stupid enough to try hiking in the dark, not through strange country. Way I figure it she'll hole up for the night."

"We can't travel by night either." Jo pointed out.

"Won't have to." He said confidently, shifting the PX-3318 to a more comfortable position across his back. "She's on foot, and lost. With old furry face up there we know exactly where we're going and the trail's only getting warmer. Little sheila don't know anybody's tracking her. She's got no reason to hurry."

"You do remember she can throw fire and lighting, right?" Jo asked, arching an eyebrow at the older man.

"So you said. How does she manage that little trick again?"

"No idea. But I saw Zuko toss a ball of fire and I saw Katara make water crawl around her arm like a bunch of snakes."

"Gruesome." Taggart said with a grin. "Katara was the cutie in blue, right?"

"Down boy." Jo said firmly. "I know you like cradle robbing but she's a little young even for you."

"I don't recall you objecting when I was robbing _your_ cradle my girl." Taggart said laughing. Jo shook her head in good natured exasperation.

"You never stop, do you?" She smiled in spite of herself.

"Nope. Keeps me young. Well, young at heart." He corrected himself when she stared at him meaningfully.

"Uh huh. Well if I were you I'd keep my libido on a leash when dealing with Azula. From what I hear she's gorgeous on the outside and creepy-crawly on the inside."

"Please." Taggart snorted. "I'm a _professional_. Besides, every fool knows the female is always deadlier than the male. Any man who forgets that deserves what happens to him."

They rode on in silence for a few moments.

"Still," he murmured with a grin, "I must admit I _like_ dangerous women. Keeps a man on his toes. Adds spice to the relationship."

"You're impossible." She laughed, shaking her head.

"Gives me my edge, Jo! Man needs an edge when he's hunting wild and devious prey."

The conversation lapsed as they concentrated on guiding the horses over a patch of difficult terrain. They didn't pick up the conversation again because they didn't need to, riding in the easy silence of like minds concentrating on the hunt.

In spite of their age difference they really were very much alike.

ooOoo

Azula woke with a start, momentarily unable to remember where she was. She gasped as a thoughtless movement brought a stabbing pain from her fractured collarbone. But it also brought memory flooding back and the girl took time to consider her next move while her throbbing shoulder slowly subsided.

Taking stock of her physical condition made her frown. Her back screamed at her as she tried to cautiously work her way onto one knee before standing. The abused muscles had stiffened up during the night.

Her knee joined the chorus once she finally made it to her feet.

Between the three injuries she could barely hobble like a decrepit old woman. That would never do, the spirit could return at any time with reinforcements. Azula needed to get out of the spirit woman's territory before that happened. To do that she needed to be able to at least _walk_.

Without moving Azula scanned the surrounding trees until she found what she was looking for, a thin straight sapling. Concentrating her chi into a hard cutting edge she used her good left hand to snap the flame toward the sapling's trunk about six feet above the ground. There was loud _crack_ as the fire punched through the thin trunk, causing the top of the tree to fall over.

She nodded in satisfaction and repeated the strike at the base of the sapling. With another ear-splitting _crack_ it promptly fell over. Wincing with each limping step she moved to pick up her impromptu staff.

Examining the ends of the staff she was pleased to see the fire had sheared cleanly through the green wood, even hardening the area of the cuts. When she tried putting weight on the staff she found it much easier to walk. She doubted her knee was too bad but it definitely didn't like bearing her weight. Having only one working arm she couldn't bind the knee, so the staff would have to do.

With a heavy sigh she started making her way out of the gully. Having no information to go on, she decided to continue her eastward march. If she was lucky she'd be out of the spirit woman's territory before the spirit recovered from the burns she'd received.

_Or_ managed to tell anyone else about Azula…

ooOoo

Jo and Taggart had risen with the dawn and set out without making breakfast. Jo had thrown Lowjack a couple of ration bars that the dog had wolfed down while she and her companion ate theirs in the saddle, washing them down with a couple of mouthfuls of water from their canteens.

About two hours after daybreak they were startled by what sounded like two gunshots a few seconds apart. The sound echoed around the mountains making it impossible to pinpoint the location.

"Think little missy stole a gun from that hypothetical family outing of yours?" Taggart asked, frowning.

"I don't know. We'd better check it out."

"Hard to tell from here but I'm thinking those were pistol shots." The man mused. "What do you think?"

"Maybe. Definitely not a shotgun." She replied. "The sound was too sharp for a big caliber rifle, but it could have been something like a .222 Remington. Of course they might have been _returning_ fire…"

"Cheerful thought." Taggart frowned. "Can't tell how far away either, because of the blasted echoes from the mountains. If it is a small caliber pistol or even a .222 chances are we're fairly close though. I'm thinking we leave the horses here and close in on foot."

"Good idea. If she's got a flamethrower I don't want to be a sitting duck on horseback." Jo replied.

Taggart dismounted and fished in his saddlebags for a moment, pulling out a gun belt complete with holstered pistol. Jo frowned.

"Why are you putting on a sidearm, Taggart? We want her _alive_."

"Case you hadn't noticed, Jo, this little sheila's got fair odds on bagging _us_ instead of the other way round. The trees are going to make your goo gun and my tasp bloody hard to fight with, especially if she's as quick as you say. If it's me or her in a tight corner it's damn well gonna be me. You got a backup gun?"

"No." Jo admitted slowly.

"You want one?" Taggart reached into his saddle bag and pulled out a second, slightly smaller pistol and gun belt."

"Hey, isn't that the rig you gave me when—" She broke off, blushing, and he shrugged.

"Yeah. You didn't take it when you left. I kept it for sentimental reasons." He refused to look at her.

"Softy." She said quietly, taking the gun belt from him and punching him lightly in the arm.

"Heh, romantic, that's me." He said, grinning. He sobered when she looked up from adjusting the rig.

"You watch your tail, you hear me?" He said gruffly. "Don't make me have to put on my black suit. I _hate_ ties. You know that."

"I know. Thanks." She said softly. She looked at Lowjack, who was watching them quizzically.

"Don't be a hero, ok?" She asked the dog. He let his tongue loll out and grinned at her. Every line of his body said _I'm not stupid_.

"Ok, let's do this." Jo said firmly.

Taggart nodded, then his eyes lit up and he smiled his crazy trademark grin. "Let's go bag us the most dangerous game, my girl. I'll tag her and you bag her, right?

ooOoo

Azula pretended to ignore the rustling in the bushes even as she prepared to attack. If it was only a rabbit she'd have breakfast. If it were one of the spirit woman's allies well—Azula would have one less worry …

She dropped her staff and started to focus her chi when her world exploded.

Suddenly she couldn't move and couldn't focus as a massive wave of pleasure exploded through her like some rabid dragon. The pleasure was so overpowering, so irresistible she couldn't breathe, she couldn't _think_, the dragon was smashing everything in its path, and she was as helpless against it as a surprised rabbit would have been against a dragon's fiery breath.

She thought she screamed, but she couldn't hear it, she thought she fell, but she couldn't feel it. The dragon was tearing her soul to ribbons, it was tearing out her guts, it was unraveling her mind, taking away the only thing that kept Azula sane—her self-discipline, the unbreakable will of the Princess of the Fire Nation.

Under that horrific onslaught there was no Azula, there was no self, there was only the smothering darkness and unending screaming pleasure so intense it was indistinguishable from agony…

The creature that had been Azula dissolved inside that horrific bliss.

_So this is Hell_ was her last wisp of thought before she drowned in that soul devouring ecstasy.

ooOoo

Jo watched Azula drop her staff and _knew_ she was going to die. The goo gun was caught on a branch, she'd never get it free in time she couldn't get out of the way and she was going to _die, _there was no time, and she was going to _die, die, die…_

Knowing it was already too late she let go of the gun and desperately fought her way to one side through the clawing bushes, hand scrabbling desperately to draw the pistol at her waist.

Only to see Azula's eyes widen in shock, her body going stiff. She screamed a low wailing moan that rapidly rose in pitch to a breath robbing, ear piercing shriek. The scream went on and on until it became a whining hiss as the girl fell to her knees and threw her head back, still trying to scream with empty lungs, eyes staring sightlessly at the sky, every muscle in her body straining rigidly against itself.

Jo recognized what was happening to the girl, even though what she was seeing was a twisted parody of what it should have been, magnified and amplified until it was nothing but a horrific distorted nightmare. It was like listening to the world's most beautiful music played so loudly it burst the eardrums and stopped the heart…

"Taggart, turn it off!" Jo screamed, bursting into the clearing waving her arms frantically overhead. "You're _killing_ her, turn it off! Turn it _off!"_

Azula toppled, landing on her left side, her muscles still locked in that death-like rigor. The paralysis was so extreme the girl couldn't draw a breath, or do more than lie rigid. Jo watched helplessly, knowing Azula was dying from suffocation.

But then Azula jerked violently and went completely limp. The woman moved forward cautiously, wary of being caught in the beam of Taggart's ghastly new weapon. When she was convinced the beam was gone she made sure Azula was breathing. Relieved, she straightened her prisoner's legs into more natural (and less potentially joint-shattering) positions and turned the girl onto her back. Noticing the sling Jo carefully probed Azula's shoulder, quickly finding the break in the collar bone.

"What have you been _doing_ Princess?" Jo murmured in confusion, even as she snapped the leg irons around Azula's ankles and chained her good arm around her waist. Hating it, but knowing Azula was a living flamethrower and there was no alternative, Jo worked the canvas hood over the still unconscious girl's head and locked it around her neck. It was as humane a restraint as they could manage, given it had been designed and fabricated in less than an hour. It left Azula's nose and mouth free, but tightly covered her eyes with heavily padded canvas. At least there were ear holes so Azula wouldn't be deprived of hearing. It was a terrifying and degrading way to treat the prisoner but Jo had to admit it beat the alternatives. If Azula couldn't see she couldn't throw fire or lightning at people.

Jo was willing to trade Azula's comfort for the lives of her potential victims. She hated it, but she could live with it.

As the unconscious girl finally began to stir Taggart came into the clearing with a big grin.

"Got her! Boy, did you see the way the PX-3318 froze her in her tracks? You didn't even have to use the goo gun! I thought you were a goner when she dropped that stick, thought sure she'd spotted you! That's why I turned it up to maximum power and risked the shot, even though you might have caught the edge of the beam. Are you ok?"

"Yeah." Jo said calmly, rising to her feet. "Thanks, Taggart, you saved my life. I really thought I was going to die. This is one scary lady. Can I see your toy a second?"

"Sure, Jo!" Taggart laughed and unslung the bulky bazooka-like weapon, handing it to her. Jo took it carefully in both hands, sagging a bit from the weight.

"Heavy." She commented, adjusting her grip. "What does it weigh, maybe twenty pounds?"

"Twenty-five." Taggart confirmed. "Really had to struggle to get it down that light. It's mostly the power-supply-it's a betavoltaic battery with an array of—"

"Sounds too delicate for field work." Jo interrupted him with a frown. "You were betting our lives on something that fragile?"

"Well, it _is _a prototype." Taggart said defensively. "I was going to do a redesign for robustness once the principle was better developed."

"That's ok, Taggart." Jo said, smiling. "It did the job."

Jo turned and ran to the edge of the clearing. Before the startled Taggart could ask her what she was doing the woman had grabbed the tasp by the barrel and smashed it against a big tree as hard as her muscles could manage.

The first time produced a loud and expensive sounding smash, followed by the sound of hundreds of small pieces raining inside the device. The second smash produced a lot of smoke. The _third _smash made sparks fly and flames began to dance over the controls.

Satisfied the abomination was smashed beyond repair Jo hastily dropped it and jumped back out of range of the burning device. Then she turned and stalked back to Taggart, who was staring at her goggle-eyed.

"What the _hell_—" He asked in utter bewilderment before Jo hauled back and slapped him with enough force to snap his head around.

"Your PX-3318 project is hereby _cancelled_, Taggart, do you hear me? If I catch the slightest sniff of a _rumor_ that you _might_ be considering building another of those god-damned rape machines I will _personally _revoke your Eureka residency and beat you into a bloody pile of broken bones." Her voice was calm and her stare was flat, there was no emotion showing on her face at all. The only thing that hinted at the rage coursing through her was her stance. It was a combatives stance she'd learned as a Ranger.

"Rape machine? What the hell are you on about Jo?" He asked incredulously. "Did you forget about the part where I just saved your life?"

"No, and that's the only reason you're still breathing. You _raped_ her, Taggart! You forced an orgasm from her so intense it nearly killed her! It _would_ have killed her if you hadn't stopped the beam when you did. She was on the verge of breaking her own bones from the muscular contractions, you imbecile! It was as bad as a grand mal epileptic seizure! How the hell do you think she's going to feel about that? Especially since she just woke up blindfolded and chained?"

"She's alive." Taggart said soberly. "She wasn't permanently injured. I wonder if all of her victims can say the same. If I hadn't fired could _you_ say the same, Jo?"

Jo froze, staring at him. The emotional whiplash caused by his rebuke broke her anger, leaving her feeling drained and dispirited.

"Please, Jim." She said. "Tell me you understand just how bad that weapon is. Tell me I know you, know the _real_ you. Tell me I wasn't dating a monster back then. Please."

"Jo, it's _me_." Taggart said, gripping her shoulders. "Lord knows I'm not a saint. But I'm no rapist. I'm not a monster. You know me better than anyone else in Eureka. I just saved your life, my girl. What if you'd accidentally strangled her with the goo gun? How would she feel then? How would _you _feel?"

"Damn it." She whispered. "Damn it, I know, I _know_. But promise me you'll _never_ build another one of those things. Promise me. For my sake." She stared up at him, and there were unshed tears in her eyes.

"Oh, don't cry. That's _cheating_." Taggart said. "All right, all right, Jo. I promise you I'll never build another PX-3318. I'll abandon the research and erase the project from the mainframe. Happy?"

"Very." Jo shuddered, thinking about what she'd seen. The implications of that weapon falling into the wrong hands… At full power the weapon had nearly killed Azula. But what if lower power settings were used? Ones that didn't kill? She refused to think about the chamber of horrors widespread use of such weapons could cause.

Of course Robert Oppenheimer probably felt the same way about _his _invention…and look how that had turned out.

Taggert went back for the horses, and with difficulty they half dragged half cajoled Azula into the improvised side-saddle that had been as hastily produced as the hood. But finally the bound princess was properly positioned on top of the long-suffering horse and the captors and their prisoner made the time-consuming trip back to Eureka.

It took two days. When they got back Jo absolutely refused to talk about it. Dealing with a prisoner who had to remain hooded and chained at _all times_ was a challenge, especially when it involved calls of nature.

It never occurred to Jo who the natural choice to guard Azula _in town_ would be…


	7. 7 Trouble Right Here In River City

Chapter 7 – Trouble Right Here In River City

"Well Iroh, I'm happy to say your burn has healed enough to rejoin Zuko and the others. You really were very lucky." Allison told the old man.

"Great news! Aside from you, my dark hibiscus flower, I must say the view from my bed lacks a certain appeal." Iroh said with a wide smile. "It will be good to see the sun again."

Allison smiled back at the charming old man. She had to admit she enjoyed his shameless compliments, even if she suspected they were as much for show as anything else.

"Remember, you haven't completely healed. You need at least another week of rest and recuperation. I'll be _extremely _unhappy if you over-exert yourself and end up back here, you understand?"

"Understood." He winced as he flexed his shoulder. "It would be the height of discourtesy to ruin all your hard work on my behalf, would it not?"

"Yes it would." She smiled at him. "Not to mention I've grown rather fond of you. I hate to see anyone I like do stupid things."

"Very wise." The old man turned serious. "I too have had the misfortune of seeing those I care for depart the path of wisdom. It cost me my son, and almost cost me my nephew."

"I'm so sorry." Allison said, unsure of how to respond to the confidence

"I did not mean to take the smile from your face." Iroh said, dismissing the solemn mood. "The past is the past and we cannot change it. We can only learn from it, so we do not make the same mistakes again."

"True enough." She hesitated. "Iroh you have the right to know. We found Azula."

"Ah." Iroh turned serious again. "I thought that you might." He watched her calmly, waiting to hear what had happened.

"You have to understand your niece committed a number of serious crimes. She was too dangerous, we had no choice."

"I understand." He sighed heavily. "It would seem another of my family has lost the path. Poor Azula, may she rest in peace."

"What?" Allison blinked at the non-sequitur.

"It is what we say for those who have passed", Iroh explained. "How many of your own did you lose?"

"Oh! No, you misunderstand. No one _died_." Allison said hastily.

"Your warriors must truly be skilled to capture Azula without casualties", Iroh said in surprise. "My niece may be crazy but she is also very skilled."

"When Taggert and Jo found her she had a broken collarbone." Allison said. "Henry said she wasn't injured when she burned down his garage so it must have happened afterward. We tried asking her about it but she wouldn't tell us. She had also wrenched her back and injured her knee. We think she fell down a cliff."

"While my niece is arrogant and proud she is almost as good as she thinks she is." Iroh said, considering the matter. "I do not believe she would have fallen so easily, even in strange country. Tell me my dear, do your people have enemies?"

ooOoo

"Good morning, Sheriff." A chipper voice from behind him made Jack jump in surprise. Turning he saw one of his least favorite people. Especially _now_.

"Senator Wen, what brings you to Eureka?" Jack asked pleasantly, plastering an insincere smile on his face.

"Astraeus, of course. I'm making sure the crew selection process is ready, we don't have time for any mistakes." She said. "We can't have anything interfere with the launch. It's vital that ship leave for Titan on schedule."

"Between Henry and Allison I think we've got it covered." He said breezily.

That was a mistake.

"Really?" The Chinese woman asked with a smile. "I'm so glad a man of your extensive expertise made the effort to put the mind of millions of taxpayers at rest, Sheriff Carter. And while I have the upmost confidence in Dr Blake and Dr Deacon, I'd be remiss in my duties if I didn't oversee the process myself."

"Of course." Jack winced inside at the rebuke.

"I'm aware that you're very good at your job, Sheriff." She said, softening. "The safety of Eureka's citizens is of course crucial to the success of Astraeus and I'm also aware of how often your—unorthodox—methods have averted disaster in the past. But the success of Astraeus is crucial to the whole human race. _Nothing_ can interfere. I'm sure you take my meaning."

"Absolutely." Jack said hastily.

"Good. So tell me about our new guests. I've heard some utterly fascinating stories about them." She regarded him with an innocent gaze.

That's when Jack realized they were in _deep_ trouble…

ooOoo

"That was pathetic Twinkle Toes. Are you _trying _to get on my nerves?" Toph demanded. Aang sighed, wiping away the dust of yet another failed attempt at earthbending.

"Sorry, Toph. I just can't shake the urge to dodge flying boulders", he said miserably.

"Earth is an unforgiving element, you idiot!" Toph snarled. "You have to show it who is boss or it will squish you like a bug! What happens when you're in a narrow tunnel where you _can't_ dodge? If you don't stop the rock, or smash it, or block it you'll end up a very wet smear on the floor!"

She pulled another round clump of dirt bigger than Aang's chest from the ground beside her. It floated in mid air, seemingly without support.

"Now this time I want you to _stop_ this. Do not dodge, do _not_ use airbending, and do not _deflect_ it—even with earthbending. I want you to _stop_ it. Got that?"

"Yes, Shifu." Aang said in resignation. He braced himself, wondering if this time would be any different from the previous half dozen attempts. He consoled himself that at least Toph wasn't using chunks of _rock_ this time…

ooOoo

Sokka was window shopping. He didn't have any money (at least none the merchants of this world were willing to accept) but the sheer amount of _stuff _on display fascinated him. Some of it he could at least understand, like clothing, or camping gear, or hunting knives.

He marveled at how ingenious some of it was. A pretty girl working in one of the shops even tried to explain how the very thin jacket of bright blue silky material he fell in love with could possibly keep you warm even in the coldest weather.

His translator was invaluable but even with its help her explanation might as well have been _its magic._ Still, a pretty girl's attention was never to be scorned, even if you didn't understand a single thing she was saying. He'd just smiled and nodded, letting her voice wash over him in lovely waves of sound.

He'd really enjoyed that particular shop.

As best he could understand it as the jacket got colder it kind of froze, making a solid wall that kept the heat on one side. It didn't make a lot of sense, but he supposed something got lost in the translation.

And speaking of translation he was pretty sure _Beverage Shop of the Day_ couldn't be the real name of the place they'd eaten when Zuko showed up. For one thing they served mostly food, not tea. Although he had to admit the tea wasn't bad, and the food was the best he'd ever tasted.

Of course not everything he saw made any sense. Like this shop, for example. The shop window was full of—things. Most looked like miniature moving sculptures of shiny silver wire. The most recognizable one was actually a glass bird—at least he thought it was a bird—wearing a hat. It kept dipping its beak in a pool of water then bobbing back upright only to dip its beak again.

All the bird did was endlessly repeat the same motions, but something about it would not let him move on. He just stood and stared…

ooOoo

Katara was trying to figure out how to wash their clothes. Andy had patiently shown her how to work the machine and had even helpfully written down instructions for her that she could actually read. But like everything else in the small house they'd been given it was all just so _alien_.

Light that appeared at the flick of a little rod on the wall. Machines that cleaned your clothing. A magic window that let you see things from anywhere in the whole world—or from the distant past.

Then there was Andy himself, a metal man designed and built by these people. Katara hadn't met his girlfriend Sara yet, but the idea of living inside a house that could actually think for itself was too creepy for words. It made her shudder.

How could these people _do _things like that? They claimed they weren't spirits, but this world was like nothing she'd ever dealt with. Even travelling with the Avatar hadn't prepared her for _this_.

Katara felt a sob forcing its way out of her. She dropped the instructions on top of the washing machine and bowed her head, letting the tears come. She trembled with the force of her silent sobs. She made sure they _stayed_ silent too, having sworn long ago it was the one sound no living creature would ever hear her make.

After all, she had to be strong for the others' sake. She couldn't let them see her like this. They depended on her…

ooOoo

Zuko was exhausted, having just acted as a translator between the woman Lupo and his imprisoned sister. The fact she was kept hooded and bound at all times made him extremely uncomfortable, but he didn't disagree with his hosts about the necessity of it.

Azula had tried charming her captor at first, until Zuko flatly told Lupo what a manipulative monster his sister was. The other woman had just shrugged, as though she expected nothing else.

Seeing charm would gain her nothing Azula dropped the act and showed her true nature. Using every trick in her considerable arsenal she made Lupo pay for each concession with endless argument and half-truths.

The session had lasted five hours and by the end of it Zuko was sure Lupo was going to beat his sister to death. The fact she actually hadn't touched Azula at all did more to impress him than anything else he'd seen in this crazy place. Lupo showed a frightening amount of self-control. Unfortunately Zuko had seen people with her level of control before—and seen the carnage after their control finally snapped.

He let himself into the house he was forced to share with the Avatar and his party. Sheriff Carter had made it abundantly clear he would tolerate no fighting, so the group kept an uneasy truce, wary and watchful. They interacted as little as possible, ate meals in complete silence, and if they did have to speak always used excruciatingly polite language.

That's why no one spent much time in the house, and why he hadn't expected Katara to be there. He certainly hadn't counted on rounding the corner to confront her while she was carrying a basket of laundry. Nor did he ever expect to see the lost expression on her face, nor her red puffy eyes widening with shock.

Her shock changed to murderous rage when she realized it was him.

"_Get out_." She hissed, letting the basket fall to the floor as she raised her hands and glared.

Zuko felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise. Before the duel with his father he would have argued with her. Before the duel he'd been arrogant and proud and stupid.

Before the duel he'd been immortal.

Zuko carefully stepped back around the corner then kept backing toward the door, making sure she wasn't coming after him. He readied a fireball just in case. When he finally felt the doorknob under his hand he slipped out, the door a welcome barricade between him and the water bender.

Zuko thought about what had just happened as he quickly put distance between himself and the house. Although he didn't know why or how he felt he'd just been caught trespassing on forbidden ground. He even felt vaguely ashamed, though he couldn't have explained why.

In the house Katara sank to her knees, shuddering violently and hugging herself, eyes wide with horror.

_He saw. Zuko saw. What am I going to do? He'll tell the others…_


	8. 8 The Best Laid Plans

Chapter 8 – The Best Laid Plans

"Guests?" Jack asked, playing stupid.

"Come now, Sheriff. Don't insult my intelligence. We both know who I'm talking about." Senator Wen said with a sigh. "Am I going to have to insist?"

Something snapped inside Jack. He grew very calm, feeling the panic slip away.

"Yes. Yes you are." Jack said, gazing mildly down at the short Chinese woman. She blinked.

"Are you serious?" She demanded incredulously.

"If you _insist_ then I'll be forced to answer you, Senator. We both know that. But in the process I'll be also be forced to take _official_ notice of your inquiries. And because I'll have been _officially _notified that you are in possession of information that has not been processed through the proper channels and therefore you have no _official _way of knowing—" He smiled down at her.

It was the friendly smile of a policeman asking why you were climbing out of the bank window at midnight with a large bag over your shoulder.

"You're playing a very dangerous game, Sheriff Carter." Senator Wen said with narrowed eyes.

"I'm the sheriff of _Eureka_, Senator." He reminded her dryly. "Do you know how many times I've nearly died in the line of duty since I put on this badge? That's not a rhetorical question by the way."

"Several." She finally said, playing along.

"Sixty-five." He corrected her. "Now tell me. Do you _really _want to insist? Officially?"

"You do understand I'm your boss, right?" Senator Wen asked curiously. "That I can have your badge this very instant?"

"You could. Officially. But you won't."

"Oh? Why is that?"

"Because I'm the only one stupid enough to still put on this badge after sixty-five near death experiences." He said flatly. "If it wasn't for me there wouldn't be an _Astraeus _project, Global Dynamics would be a glowing hole in the ground and this town full of mad scientists would have blown up the planet on at least half a dozen occasions."

"You certainly have a high opinion of yourself." She noted calmly.

"Tell me I'm wrong, Senator."

She studied him for a long time, thinking. Then she smiled.

"I like you, Sheriff. All right, I won't ask _officially._"

Jack relaxed. Bluffing a United States Senator wasn't the most dangerous thing he'd ever done in Eureka, but it had to be in the top ten.

"So why don't we do this _unofficially?_" She smiled up at him, eyes twinkling. "Strictly off the record, Jack."

_Make that the top five. Definitely the top five_, Jack thought glumly.

ooOoo

She raised her head, hearing the outer door open and the sound of several people entering noisily.

"Hello, Azula." A cheerful man's voice intruded unexpectedly into Azula's dark world, making her jump. "I have someone here who'd like to talk to you. She's a very important person, so I hope you'll cooperate."

She heard the cell door open and shut again.

"Take this hood off and I'll be glad to." Azula said, smiling. There was an exchange of meaningless babble while the man relayed her words to the others.

Azula was tense inside, although she was careful to appear relaxed to her invisible audience. Before being hooded she'd had no idea how much she'd miss being able to see. Her enforced blindness made her feel frightened and vulnerable, and those feelings evoked a cold bitter rage. How _dare_ they treat a princess of the Fire Nation like some animal? Once she was free she was going to kill every one of them, as slowly as she could manage…

"You have proven you are incredibly dangerous, Azula." The man's voice was apologetic. "We can't allow you any chance to cause more harm. However, Mandarin-chosen-by-the-people Wen has expressed a desire to remove your hood so that she may speak to you directly."

"You will remain chained during this interview and if you attempt to use fire we will be forced to use our weapons. Do you understand this?"

Azula couldn't help the shudder that ran over her. Another exposure to that demonic rapture would drive her insane. She would do _anything_ to avoid it, even play the humble craven.

Before the day that hideous weapon struck her down she could honestly boast that she feared nothing at all in the entire world.

But that abomination terrified her down to her bones. She had nightmares about some nameless peasant taunting her while she lay blind and chained, knowing that they were about to let that fiend devour her soul. Worse still, the peasant demanded she _beg_ for her own destruction…

"Do you understand?" The man repeated, his voice bringing her back to herself. She wondered how he could sound so kind when threatening her with such vile torture.

These people were monsters. She almost had to admire them.

"I understand." She straightened her back and drew back her shoulders, determined to face them as a princess of the blood should. "You have my word."

"Very well. Remember we will use our weapons if you force us to. However, if you do not offer us violence none will be offered to you."

Gentle hands opened the locks and unbuckled the straps that held the despised covering in place. The sudden brilliance made her squeeze her eyes shut. The tears that leaked out were as much from relief as pain.

Drawing in a deep breath she blinked rapidly, forcing her narrowed eyes to adjust to the bright daylight after days of inky blackness.

The man who had removed her hood stepped back and leaned against the bars, as far from her as he could manage. He appeared to be unarmed.

Outside the cell another man was pointing a small metal device at her that reminded her unpleasantly of the spirit woman's lightning thrower. It was clearly a weapon and she involuntarily shivered as she contemplated the shape of her personal demon's lair.

Next to the man was a woman about her own height. Unlike the other people she had glimpsed in this world the woman was _human_, with tan skin, black hair, and almond-shaped eyes. Azula was surprised at how strongly she reacted to seeing another human in this deceptively pleasant hell. The other people she had seen were clearly demons, for all they wore human shape, with skin and hair and eyes of the most impossible shades.

And their behavior was just as alien as their appearance…

**[Author's Note: To avoid the tedium of further translation I am writing the dialog as though each side can understand the other. The translation, of course, is going through Andy who is tied into GD's mainframe and using Dr Kwan's database.]**

"Azula, my name is Senator Wen." The woman said, studying the captive. "I understand that you have caused a great deal of property damage and tried to commit murder against your own uncle and Eureka's mayor, not to mention trying to attack the posse that was sent to apprehend you. These are _very _serious crimes. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I was in battle against traitors to the throne and their allies, facing six to one odds. They were trying to _kill_ me", Azula said with an edge on her voice. "Then suddenly I was in a mysterious room with a pair of demons who started shouting at me. Tell me Senator Wen, what would you have done?"

The woman looked startled, turning to the man holding the weapon and asking several questions. He shrugged, making some non-committal reply. She turned back to the prisoner.

"You burned down the mayor's workshop. Why?"

"I was trying to kill the demon." Azula said impatiently. "It ducked and my lightning hit a machine behind it. The two demons panicked and ran out of the room, giving me a chance to escape. The machine exploded in a large fireball just as I made it to the forest."

"How did you break your collarbone?" Senator Wen asked.

"A spirit woman attacked me. I managed to kill her two demon escorts and corner her after destroying her lightning thrower, but due to my fatigue I made a tactical mistake. She managed to surprise me with a flying kick, leaping from a tree branch well above me."

"I burned her leg just before she could finish me off, and she had to retreat. I was too injured to pursue and decided to try and get out of her territory before she could reach reinforcements."

"What do you mean by demons, Azula?" The woman sounded genuinely curious. "And what is a spirit woman?"

"These monsters all around you." Azula pointed to the man in her cell, and the one hold the weapon. "You're the first human I've seen since finding myself in this hellish place. The one I took for a spirit woman might have been a demon too. She was so pale her skin almost glowed. Of course, for all I know _you_ might be a demon and just better at hiding it."

The woman chuckled. Azula's eyes narrowed.

"I'm not a demon, Azula. I'm a human, just like you. In fact, with the exception of the man translating for us, every individual who's had the misfortune to cross paths with you since you got here has been human as well."

"You're lying. The ones who captured me used a demonic weapon that—" She stopped, shivering in spite of herself. "It tore my soul apart, _Senator_. Only a demon would ever use a weapon like that. Fire may burn, but it's a far cleaner death than having your soul devoured."

"What are you talking about?" The other woman seemed genuinely shocked and bewildered.

"Don't insult me by pretending you don't know what that weapon does." Azula snarled as she pointed to the weapon in the man's hands. "It unleashes some hell beast that perverts every good thing inside you and turns sacredness to horror. It forces you in ways that no person should _ever _be forced—" Azula stopped, literally shaking in rage and terror she couldn't control.

"I don't know what you're talking about." The other woman said, looking confused. "The weapon Sheriff Carter is pointing at you fires a small lead pellet at high speed. It kills the same way an arrow kills. As far as I know your only injury is a broken collar bone, you don't have any wounds caused by lead pellets."

The man said something to the Senator that her demon translator didn't pass on. The woman's eyes narrowed and she replied angrily. The man shrugged again and said something that made the woman take a step back and glare at him.

"What's going on?" Azula asked the demon in her cell.

"I don't think I'm supposed to tell you, Azula. Please be patient."

Seeing her enemies at odds made old habits take over, and Azula managed to subdue her emotions and start scheming how to escape and wreck vengeance. Which is why she was completely flabbergasted to hear the woman's next words.

The demon translator blinked stupidly and made a mistake. It spoke to the woman in Azula's language instead of her own.

"Release her, Senator?"

Realizing his mistake he repeated the question in the correct language.

The woman nodded angrily. The man pointing the weapon protested vehemently and at length. She caught the name of her brother, her uncle and the water bending girl that travelled with the Avatar.

_So the traitors and the Avatar are here? Interesting. _Azula thought to herself. She let her face settle into her normal neutral expression. The fact the man and woman were still arguing heatedly indicated a power struggle, something else she might be able to exploit.

Finally the woman seemed to prevail. The man stopped pointing the weapon, returning it to the sheath on his belt.

"Do you want to go home, Azula?" The woman asked her.

"Of course." The fire princess replied with a short bark of laughter.

"You understand you'll never return home unless we help you do it?" The woman continued.

"So it seems." Azula answered, keeping her options open.

"The man whose workshop you burned down built the machine that brought you here." The woman said. "In fact you destroyed that machine with your lightning, which apparently caused your enemies to be brought here as well."

"So unless the mayor wants to help you get home you'll be marooned here for the rest of your life. Should you be forced to stay here we would certainly study you to find out how you manipulate fire. You wouldn't enjoy that." The woman's cold voice didn't match her cheerful smile.

Azula didn't miss the frown on Sheriff Carter's face at the threat either.

"Here's my dilemma, Azula." The woman said calmly. "We know you're dangerous. We know you've attempted to commit murder and arson. Your enemies, on the other hand, haven't done any of these things. In fact they helped put out the fire you started. Your so-called traitorous brother gave his parole and has been punctilious about observing it. His uncle has proven a model guest and the children are quite civil and polite. There's clearly enmity between your bother and the children but neither side has abused our hospitality nor broken the truce we demanded of them."

She cocked her head.

"They're also united in their opinion that you are dangerously insane, and a liar. Given your story about demons and having your soul ripped apart by a weapon that leaves no visible wound I'm inclined to believe them instead of you. And then there's the matter of the spirit woman and her escorts. The posse found no evidence of a fight or corpses as they trailed you. Since they were using a dog to hunt you by scent they should have come across some evidence of your fight because they covered exactly the same ground you did."

Azula thought frantically, racing through different possible stories. Before she could respond the woman continued.

"However, Sheriff Carter tells me that one of the posse members used an experimental, non-lethal weapon to capture you without injuring you. The weapon stimulates the pleasure center of the brain, rendering the victim unable to move. As you were apparently about to kill Security Director Lupo he used the weapon's maximum power as he didn't know the weapon's effective range."

The woman shrugged. "Unfortunately for you the maximum power setting had the effect of inducing an epileptic seizure in addition to its intended effect. I'm sure the experience was both excruciatingly severe and traumatic. You wouldn't be the first person to confuse epileptic seizure with demonic possession, especially considering the weapon's primary effect."

Azula absorbed the information silently, rapidly reevaluating her situation. The fact the weapon was experimental meant it wasn't likely to be used against her again. That thought made her weak with relief although she was careful not to reveal that to her captors.

"Therefore I'm willing to release you provided you give your parole like your brother. But given the circumstances I'm assigning Andy to act as your guard for the duration of your stay with us. Andy is not human; he is a sophisticated machine with an artificial intelligence. I am told he performs his law enforcement duties with commendable efficiency."

"As a machine he is immune to your fire throwing ability and your lightning, he can run faster than you and he is more than twice as strong as the strongest man. Therefore I suggest you follow your brother's example and observe your parole. There is to be no violence of any kind between you and our other guests."

"Do you accept these terms?"

Azula studied the woman, and then her would-be jailer. Andy gave her a big smile and nodded. Knowing he was some kind of clockwork mechanism made his cheerful demeanor suddenly unnerving.

"Very well. I give you my parole as the crown princess of the fire nation. I will not attack my brother or his allies while in this world. I accept this creature as my keeper and will not attempt to harm it. But in return I expect it to guard me if I am attacked. I reserve the right to protect myself from any attackers that best my keeper. Do you accept my parole?"

"I do. Allow me to apologize for the use of the experimental weapon, Princess. We certainly did not mean to subject you to such a horrible experience, in spite of your extreme provocation."

The woman gestured toward Azula and her keeper promptly unchained her. Not believing her luck the princess stepped out of the cell when Sheriff Carter reluctantly unlocked it.


	9. 9 And You Were Going To Tell Me This Whe

Chapter 9 – And You Were Going To Tell Me This When?

**[A/N: Sorry for the delay posting this chapter, had a bad case of writer's block]**

"She did _what?"_ Zuko exclaimed in horror.

"Released your sister." Jack repeated wearily. "Look, I told Senator Wen it was a bad idea, but she outranks me. As far as she's concerned we don't have any proof you guys are telling the truth and Azula's lying. Azula's explanation was plausible—I guess—and on the bright side Andy's babysitting her. She's got a really short leash at least."

"And _now_ Senator Wen wants to meet us?" Katara asked. "It would have been nice to talk to us first, don't you think?"

"Hey, I agree with you. You guys didn't blow up anything and aside from that unfortunate misunderstanding in GD none of you has been violent in any way, so I'm on your side." Jack rubbed his forehead, trying to ease the headache he'd been nursing since releasing Azula.

"Bad day, huh?" Sokka asked, eyeing the way the Sheriff was slumped over.

"Goes with the job." Jack sighed and straightened up. "Guys, Senator Wen is a really important person around here, she controls the funding for Eureka, which means she's basically the boss. So be on your best behavior, all right?"

"That means don't tick off the moose-lion Sokka." Toph said with a smirk.

"Good advice, Toph. You should follow it." Sokka said. "I'm not the one with the short temper, remember?"

"Ha." She retorted. "I'm used to dealing with people like this. I know how to handle them. Watch and learn, Sokka."

Grumbling Sokka followed the group to Jack's SUV for the short trip to Café Diem.

ooOoo

"Welcome, everyone. My name is Senator Wen and I'd like to welcome you to Eureka. This is just an informal get together so I can meet all of you. I understand you arrived here by accident, and that Doctor Deacon is working on a way to send you home. As I am the ranking member of the Senate Finance Committee and responsible for Eureka and the work that goes on here I thought it was important for me to get to know you."

Senator Wen was, to the eyes of the Avatar and his friends, a rather pleasant but ordinary looking woman who (except for her clothing) wouldn't have gotten a second glance in their world. She was the first person they had met here who actually looked _normal_.

"Why did you release Azula?" Katara demanded, leaning forward.

Senator Wen blinked as she focused on the water bender.

"Your name is Katara isn't it?" The Senator asked. Katara nodded impatiently. "Well, Katara after talking to Azula I decided that her explanation of events warranted extending her the benefit of the doubt. From her point of view Zuko and his uncle are traitors to the crown. It's my understanding she is now heir to the throne, given that Zuko has been banished, and that technically that means attacking her _was_ an act of treason. I'm also given to understand that it was six against one, and you were trying to kill her. Or have I been misinformed?"

"No." Iroh spoke up. "That is correct—as far as it goes, madam."

"As far as it goes?" She asked, tilting her head. "I would be interested to hear more, General Iroh."

"My niece left out the part where she had surrendered to us and then attacked when I regrettably let down my guard for an instant. I was unconscious during the rest of the battle, so strictly speaking it was only five to one when my companions tried to kill her. Furthermore my niece has always been ruthless and without compassion for those who stood in her way. It is rude of me to say this, but Azula is dangerously insane."

Senator Wen settled back in her chair.

"The United States does not have any treaties with the Fire Nation, General Iroh. As such I can't pass judgment on its internal affairs. Your status as traitors to the crown whether true or not has no bearing on your treatment here. Sheriff Carter tells me your behavior as our guests has been exemplary and frankly that's all I care about."

"I have no reason to believe your group represents a threat to Eureka or the work conducted here, so you may continue to enjoy the freedoms extended you. To put your minds at rest about Azula she hasn't been granted the same level of freedom as you have. Andy has been assigned as her guard while she remains in Eureka. I assure you he is _very_ capable."

"Azula has been given the same warning I'm about to give you. We will not tolerate any violence here. If Azula attacks you, Andy will subdue her. If he fails to do so you are permitted to _defend_ yourselves until help can be summoned. That does not mean you can kill her, it means you can take actions to allow you to survive until she can be dealt with."

"Katara, Sherriff Carter tells me there is a great deal of personal enmity between you and Zuko, yet the two of you manage to live in the same house without fighting each other. I want you to show the same restraint when dealing with Azula."

"She's going to be living in our _house?_" Katara asked, appalled.

Senator Wen chuckled.

"No, dear. Give us a _little_ credit. Azula will be living with Andy at his home. However you will be sharing the same town with her. If you encounter her on the street my advice would be to ignore her."

"That is reasonable." Iroh nodded slowly. "However, I must warn you, Senator. My niece is very cunning. If there is a way for her to gain power here she will seek to do so. Do not become complacent."

"We are not fools, General Iroh." Senator Wen said sharply. "Andy will be with Azula at all times. He is capable of recording and transmitting everything that he sees and hears. Any conversations she has we'll know about. If she attempts espionage or to usurp control she will be severely dealt with."

Zuko recognized the cold anger the Senator was displaying, he'd seen it often enough in his own father.

"My apologies, Senator." Iroh said mildly. "It is a poor guest who does warn his hosts when they bring a viper into their home."

The anger passed as quickly as it had come. Senator Wen smiled.

"I appreciate the warning, General. Unfortunately, in my profession untrustworthy strangers are a fact of life. All necessary precautions have been taken, I assure you. I understand being wary of Azula but you have my assurances she poses no danger to either yourselves or Eureka."

"For both our sakes, let us hope that you are correct." Iroh said solemnly.

ooOoo

"So, tin man." Azula said irritably. "What now?"

"You are free to travel anywhere you like within the city limits." Andy said, smiling. "If you'd like to go into the countryside you will need Sheriff Carter's permission. Given your unfortunate interactions with us I suspect you should plan to stay within Eureka's city limits for now."

Azula raised an eyebrow.

"How long until I can go home? This city of yours is fascinating, but it will soon grow tiresome."

"Henry thinks it will only take a couple of weeks to build a new generator, Azula." Andy said.

"That's good. Now, I'm hungry. Fetch me something to eat."

Andy shook his head. "I'm sorry, Azula, I can't leave you unattended. However, I can take you to Cafe Diem for dinner. On the way back we'll need to stop at the grocery to pick up food for you while you stay with me. I have none at my house.

"You don't keep any food at your house? No wait, of course not. You aren't human, are you? Just a clock-work toy." Azula sneered.

"Actually, my internal components are largely solid state, and my muscles are carbon nano-tube aero-gels. I have no mechanical gears." Andy said helpfully.

Azula sighed.

"As long as you were _built_ and not _born_ you're a clockwork man as far as I'm concerned. A clever machine, not a person. Not even a _peasant_."

"That is actually a troublesome philosophical point, you know. My IQ is higher than that of many humans, and I am capable of feeling emotions. If I am nothing but a clever machine what does that make you?"

"A princess of the blood!" Azula retorted sharply.

"How does that make you different from me? Our bodies may be made of different materials they are both machines that serve exactly the same purpose. They transport our minds from one place to another and allow us to manipulate our environment. I might also point out that my body is in many ways far superior to yours. It is stronger, faster, and much more resistant to damage. In addition, given adequate repair facilities it is also theoretically immortal."

"A clockwork man is still just a clockwork man." Azula sniffed. "You may be made of metal but don't think for a moment you have any worth. You were built to serve humans were you not? A _slave_."

"Actually, I was built as an experiment to see how far artificial intelligence might develop." Andy corrected her calmly. "To answer any number of questions concerning what artificial life is capable of, how far I might evolve. I am a person in every way that matters, a valuable member of this community, with friends and colleagues that respect me. Thus my existence has been one of great worth, both to my builders and myself. Can you say the same, Azula?"

"I am a princess, tin man! Born to rule over the Fire Nation by divine right! I am the Heir Apparent, first in line to the throne. You are _nothing_ compared to me! Less than nothing!"

"Your logic is suspect." Andy noted. "In your own land you may be a princess, but here you are a criminal, and a prisoner, currently on parole. You have caused a great deal of destruction and attempted to kill two people, and possibly a third. No one trusts you. From what I can see it is you who lack worth, Azula."

"How _dare_ you speak to me that way, you—_thing!"_ Azula snarled, raising a hand that was suddenly engulfed in flame.

"You are about to violate your parole, Azula. Do you want to go back to your cell?" Andy asked placidly. He grabbed her wrist in a vice-like grip that made her grit her teeth in pain. She hadn't even seen a blur as his arm moved, it was just suddenly _there_.

He stared at her with a friendly smile, and his grip tightened the slightest bit. "Wouldn't you rather go to Carpe Diem for dinner, Your Highness?"

She let the fire die and relaxed.

"You win this round, tin man." She said lightly. "But I won't forget your insult. One day the tables _will_ turn." Her eyes narrowed.

"Perhaps." He said while smiling that same eerie smile he always wore. "But that day has not yet come. In the meantime I suggest you relax and abide by your parole, Your Highness. In a couple of weeks the generator will be finished and you can return to your own world. Take advantage of the opportunity offered you."

Azula smiled suddenly, her anger seemingly evaporating.

"You know, tin man, that's actually not a bad idea. Not a bad idea at all…"


End file.
